Things heard in the Green house

Chris and Scott were in the pool for hours playing with their torpedo.
 Wait...that doesn't sound right.

 I'm so glad you told me about asparagus making your pee smell.
 I thought I was seriously ill for the past few days.

 I can't save him from drowning...but if he chokes on something, I'm your man.

 Don't think bad of me, but the first thing that popped in my mind when Shorty was choking was, "I'm so glad I didn't buy more dog food this week."

 The pool makes you frisky.

 Is this real food (referring to soy burgers)?
 No, it's a hologram.

 Oh my gosh! I can't believe you just said that! I wish I could put that on the blog!
 Go ahead...I don't care.
 (sorry folks...I just can't do it)

 I found a website that teaches you how to like scotch.

 You broke it again, like you did on our honeymoon. (not what you think)

 What kind of husband wants his wife to sleep in the other room?

 I just live listening to funeral music as I eat dinner.

If you think reading is boring, you're doing it wrong.

Our book club planning session was tonight. We met at Jasons Deli and mapped out the next years reads and monthly hosting sites. So excited to dive into the books we chose and catch up with my friends each month. What did I ever do before I fell in love with reading? What a waste of the first thirty years of my life.

Watch our mouth young lady!

It has been so hot this week. Over 100 degrees, most days. Can't wait for the storm to come tomorrow and bring the temps back in the 80's. Even the pool is not refreshing. Like bath water...blah. Uncle Jim, Beth and the boys came for the day. We talked, went to Jimmy's for lunch and came back and swam for a few hours, before they headed back home. Katy and Mike brought King and Vin, who will be two at the end of the summer. Kingston was jumping in over and over again...he is quite the daredevil. Gavin was a bit more cautious than his brother,preferring to run around outside the pool instead. All the big kids were at their dads this weekend...missed them. Maya's 5th birthday is next week and I can't believe how big she is getting. Chris picked up a Hello Kitty doll, dressed in an ODU tshirt, at the book store this week. I know she will love it, since she is a big Hello Kitty fan. I think her 4th birthday had a Hello Kitty theme. The only problem was, up until a couple months ago, she had problems with her K's. She would call Kaden..Taden. She would say I tan't, instead of I can't. So just imagine, when she would excitedly show you her Hello Kitty purse, or shirt or toy...what she would call it? Sooooo funny. Of course the big kids (and Chris) got a kick out of making her repeat herself over and over.

Hush-a-bye, don't you cry, Go to sleep my little baby. When you wake you shall have, all the pretty little horses.

By Teresa Went in the attic today, searching for a box of baby clothes. It took quite a while to find and I almost gave up. Since no baby clothes have been worn around this house for a long time, there were at least ten years of boxes placed around it. It was buried behind old shoes, trophies and boxes filled with anything our three kids deemed savable. I did find the clothes and what a trip down memory lane, holding each tiny hat, nightgown and pair of booties. Remembering each child who wore them, where they played in it and how precious they were. Not that they are not beloved now, it's just a little hard to find a teenager "precious" sometimes. We will wash and make ready all the tiny keepsakes, to prepare for the newest "precious" joining our family at the end of the summer. Little Sophie, my first grandchild. Oh little one, how your Nanny is looking forward to rocking you and singing you to sleep, just like I did for your mommy, so long ago.

Y? Y not?

By Teresa Heading to the YMCA this morning. My fourth time this week...go me. It's been almost two months since I began my journey of better health and moving my arse. I am down 31 pounds, since May 10th. The day I stopped my self loathing, depression and suicide by fast food. No one knew the things going on inside my head...thank goodness. After much prayer and planning, I pulled myself up by my boot straps and took off. Running from the ugliness and pain, to a better me. I have a long way to go, according to the ridiculous charts that say you are obese at 140 pounds, but I am better than I was. I am proud of myself...and that feels great.

Superheroes don't wear capes...they drive Hondas

By Teresa We had a fairly peaceful fourth of July, today. No company or cookouts. Just me, Chris and Ben, eating some baked chicken I cooked, swimming and watching movies. Lauren and Nick both had to work. Tonight, after he got home from work, I heated Nick up a plate of food. Shorty, our resident table beggar, was at Nick's feet, waiting for crumbs and drips. Also, when we have chicken, he is extra attentive. The dog is chicken crazy. He will bark and whine when I cook it. Nick finished, tossed the remains in the trash and went to relax on the couch. About one minute later, we heard a bang. I knew immediately what the sound was...the trash can hitting the floor. Sorty...lured by the aroma of chicken, rummaging through the debris, grabbing a hunk and running away with it. We chased him through the house, to no avail. He had swallowed it in a hurry, to keep us from taking it back. And yes, it was stuck...and stuck good. The gagging was horrible, as he went from room to room, trying to get away from us. We opened the back door and out he went. It was 10:30, Ben was spending the night at moms and Chris had already gone to bed. Nick and I were freaking out (we are not the best under pressure) and could not get the chicken out. Even after being bit several times, Nick still tried his best to help his long time buddy get his breathe. It was no use. Shorty staggered, fell in Nick's arms and died. It was so sad. Nick cried and called out for me to help...but there was nothing I cold do. I ran in, and yelled up to Chris to wake up and help us. He came down pretty quickly, despite the fact that he had been asleep two minutes earlier. He went outside and found Shorty lying in the yard. Gone. He went to work, resuscitating him, he stuck his hand down his throat and pulled out the chicken. He did chest compressions, got the hose and sprayed in Shorty's mouth and over his head. He worked on him for awhile...and he came back to life. It was amazing. Nick was so happy to have his friend back. Chris said, "poor short...if I had been out of town, he would be dead and gone". He is right too, Nick and I had written him off. Thank you dad! He also said, "if I am ever choking...please don't stop trying!".

Questions and comments heard in the Green house this week

By Teresa

I think this is re re week on Wheel of Fortune.

I always powder up before I go out.

Mom, when I was little, did you and dad think I was retarded?

How much did you get paid to help them move?
$60
Great, you can add that to what you get for Christmas and get something cool.
Ummm.
Ummm, what? You don't have any money do you?
I got that $ two hours ago. I bought an electric drum set on the way home.

He liked your pumpkin fluff so much, I bet he talks about it from the pulpit .

Why do we even have to go to school, when we can ask google for anything we need to know?

Their lucky I was on Dramamine, or I would have killed them.

Middle schoolers are horrible, evil beasts

Why do you call it "laying across the bed?". Why can't you just admit that you are taking a nap?

I can't believe you are just sitting in the garage, playing on your iPad.
I was hiding from the kids.

Will you pull the gray hair off the top of my head, is sticking out?
*Husband pulls.*
It's still there!  I said pull the gray hair out!
Dude, if I pull out all the gray hair that's sticking out on the top of your head, you would be bald!

gobble gobble

by teresa

Had a great Thanksgiving last week. We all went over to Katy's and ate until we were no longer able to blink. We chilled for a few hours on her new ginormous couch and played family fued against each other on all the ipads.

O' Christmas tree, O' Christmas tree

By Teresa

I Put our tree up today. Ben will be so pleased when he gets home from school. I bought him a couple boxes of red lights at the thrift store this weekend and he wrapped the "family tree" with them, to look like a big candy cane. So cute. He is trying to talk me into putting some candles in the window, like mom has.
I am picking up Nick early from school today. We have his appointment with the court to get his permanent drivers license. He was happy to be getting out of school early. Especially since this week they only go for two and a half days because of thanksgiving.
This time of year, it is so wonderful to be a kid.

Just wear the dang thing

By Teresa

Had to run to ODU today and return the jacket I got for chris for our anniversary.
It was the right size and color and style (he had gushed over it on a previous visit). The reason for it's return was that his BFF showed up to the basketball game in the same jacket.
"we can NOT have the same jacket...it's just not cool."
Seriously?
It's an ODU game....everybody there is wearing ODU apparel.
Hopefully the sweatshirt I swapped it out for is not being worn by anyone on their side of the arena.
I wouldn't want my baby to feel uncool.

Is that a coupon binder in your lap or are you happy to see me?

By Teresa

Woke Chris up by poking him with my binder.
No, this is not a euphemism for "hanky panky".
I think I have a serious couponing problem.

Feed me country ham and biscuits, and I'm putty in your hands.

By Teresa

Apparently Ben was chatting with our neighbor and she told him about a sale on christmas decorations at Big Lots (I hate that store...it smells like b.o.) and Ollies (this store looks like a giant garage sale, in a trailer park). In a moment of weakness (he cooked me breakfast) I agreed to take him around and check out the deals. I wonder what kind of beautiful (said sarcastically through gritted teeth) things we will bring back to adorn our home.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...in November?

By Teresa

Since my sister put up her tree and decorations the day after Halloween (yes...Halloween), Ben has been antsy to do ours too. I held him off till today. He has the yard looking like an explosion of lights, plastic and garland. He even did moms yard. I caught him dragging in my tree box and indoor decorations, and made him put them right back in the garage. I refuse to put my tree up when it's still flip flop and Capri pant weather. Maybe after veterans day.

Yep, I skipped October...what's it to you?

Facebook has killed my will to blog.
When every thought and feeling can put out there for all to comment on so easily, it takes the fun out of story writing.
I will try harder, since the purpose of this blog is documenting our family life.


FYI. We did get a new bed after two weeks of camping on the floor.

Maybe I'll move the hammock inside

by teresa

When we got our windows replaced last week I had to do some prep work. Take down all blinds and curtains and move all furniture 3 feet from any window. Pretty easy for most of the house, but in our bedroom this was difficult. We had an old water bed frame that we had put a california king sized mattress in years ago. This huge frame/headboard construction was a monster and weighed a gillion (more or less) pounds and took up most of our room. So, no moving it. I had to take it apart, to get it away from the window. Then I threw the pieces out of the window (and took them to the curb for trash pick up). Not part of our original plan, but I couldn't stand that big, ugly monster anymore. I want a queen size bed, that can be moved without a crane and will actually give me room to walk around my room (not side ways, with my stomach held in). Now the problem with this is, I am too cheap to walk in a mattress store and buy a new mattress and bed. So we have been "camping" in our room for a week. I have been looking on craigslist, ebay, etc. for the perfect deal. I did keep the old mattress...but it is laying on the floor and pretty hard to pop out of, for this 40 year old lady.
The same day I also got bee in my bonnet about our huge tv downstairs. It's one of those 50 inch things, with a body that is as tall as me and weighs about as much as that bed did. It too, took up a quarter of our living room. We purchased it years ago, before the slim, lightweight, flat screens came out. So I moved it out and put a tv from another room in its place. A 30 something inch that Chris claims is too teeny tiny for his old man eyes.
He said, "Woman! You ain't right! You got rid of a mans bed and tv at the same time! Are you crazy?!"

Protect the kicker!

By Teresa

Made it through the first week of school with no hiccups.
Homework is being done each night, with little urging and a paper was even written without having to fuss or threaten. Nice.
Ben is enjoying football tryouts and we should know by the end of the week if he made the team. What position are they training him at, you ask? Why, kicker...of course. Once a soccer player, always a soccer player.

Miss you daddy

By Teresa

I can't believe its been four years since I last saw you.
We still talk about you all the time.
The other day I said,"the house next door, is my parents house", when talking to someone. My parents.
We were looking through old videos last week and we found one of a church dinner.
The whole family was in the family life center and you walked in. We got excited to see you and when I turned the camera your way and said,"I love you daddy", you stuck your tongue out at me. Your signature move in most videos and photos. Mom and I both laughed so hard. We also found a picture of you in and old camera of Georges'. It was a group shot of all of us, in my front yard. He was taking it and sending it off to Jackie, who was out of the country on a mission trip. It was the best surprise ever...seriously. You were smiling. It was taken a couple weeks before you died.

If Ben plays football, I think Chris' heart may burst from excitement

by teresa

Tomorrow, Nick starts his new part time job. He will be working at the Virginia Opera, in their coffee/concession shop. Training begins tomorrow night. It's for a few months, during the opera season. Should be fun and help out with his gas and running around money. Still on the lookout for something steady though.

Chris took Ben for a sports physical after school today. Ben is entertaining the idea of trying out for the school football team. It would be weird seeing him on the field in football gear and not soccer. But, I think it's cool he is wanting to try new things. I will post more details once tryouts are over.

first day of school

by teresa

We had an uneventful morning.

Clouds of axe and globs of hair gel filled the house.

Both Nick and Ben had their outfits chosen days ago and Nick even organized all his clothes last night. His room is perfect...I wonder how long that will last. They both opted for poptarts this morning (I let them chose anything) and only took a couple bites. I guess they were both anxious about getting back in the swing of things. Ben packed a lunch and Nick decided to buy. It seems bagging a lunch in the 11th grade is not very cool. Nick drove sissy's car (they have been sharing for the past month) to school. He will do this every now and then, but I will drive him most days. That is until he gets a job, then the plan is that he will get Chris' car and Chris will buy a new one. But he has to get a Jay Oh Bee first. I bet seeing his friends coming and going in their own cars will light a fire under his butt to get one. We will see.

After I dropped the boys off I picked up my free Chic-fil-a biscuit (a store promotion) and headed to Katy's to have a little sissy time, kid free. Well, not actually kid free...6 kids were at school, but there were still 7 kids there. I am home now, reveling in the quiet and cleanliness. School is a true blessing for a mothers sanity.

Summer 2011 collage

squeezing out the last drops of summer

by teresa

The boys were up really late last night. I was planning on making them go to bed at a reasonable time, so they don't go into shock tomorrow morning at 7:00am, but I didn't have the heart to put a stop to their fun. Plus, they were actually in the same room, on the same bed, at the same time (with no threats of bodily harm). Them and about 4 other kids from the church youth group were playing xbox together. And if that's not neat enough (playing the same video game from 3 different cities) they also had all their laptops open and webcams going. So they were watching each other play and talking through the kinect and webcams. When I walked in it was as if all the kids were in the same room. Technology sure makes being a kid easy.
Today, we will relax (as I type this Chris is mowing the yard....not very relaxing) and enjoy this last day of no homework, no alarm clock and no frenzied comings and goings.

lets get together for some burgers and hugs

by teresa

Allen family cookout this afternoon at Uncle Timmy's and Aunt Esther's. Can't wait to see all my cousins and their families. I remember playing with them at our Nanny's house and now we have our own children and grandchildren. Time marches on, and sometimes I feel like it marches right across my face (love that line from Steel Magnolias).
Really missing my dad today. His side of the family is a hoot, but it's just not the same without him. I blew off the family reunion four years ago. Didn't feel like driving out to Franklin to see everyone. Then my dad died a few weeks later. I missed out on that fun time with him and mom and my aunts and uncles. I will never miss a get together again, if at all possible. Family is too important and you have to show them what they mean to you.

Two more days till school starts

by teresa

I survived another summer!

Questions and comments heard in the Green house

By Teresa

Is there more dogs or humans in the world?

That made my butt burn!

I drank so much at dinner, my pee was snow white.

Do you think Aristotle's friends called him Ari for short?

At least now when you go bald, you know you will look ok.

Bald makes you look tough.
Like a marine?
Yes dear, like a marine.

So, because I farted, now I have to sleep in Bens room?

When the fireworks went off, shorty bit me.

It's an explosion of skeegy.

What did you do while the kids were gone last night?
I sat in the dark, alone. No tv, no iPad.
It was the perfect evening.

dang! I was having the best dream!

by teresa

It doesn't take long to get used to sleeping in.
Nick has 3 mornings of drivers class starting today.
School has only been out for 2 weeks, but when that alarm went off this morning I could hardly open my eyes. 6:50 might have well been 3:00am to my body.
I am a spoiled women...I know.

Too weird not to post

By Teresa

I am up late, long after the family went to bed.
Sitting in "my chair", reading and listening to Shorty snore.
I bunnied...loudly (don't worry...shorty doesn't mind).
The computer (which has been on sleep mode for hours) cuts on.
I knew it was a big one, but I didn't know my own strength.

oh where is my hairbrush?

by teresa

The dog stunk. Bad.
It's been hot and although the majority of his days are spent on his throne (an over sized ottoman) he does go outside and in doing so he smells like a hot, dog. You know what that smells like, right? Worse than teen b.o. and cleat sweat put together.
I was pleasantly surprised the other afternoon, when I woke from my Sunday nap and Ben told me he had bathed the dog. His actual words were, "me and Shorty took a shower". And he had, with the dog, in his bathing suit (Ben...not the dog).
I was so happy. The dog smelled great. Ben told me he had used my head and shoulders shampoo, "so Shorty will not have any dandruff." Not that he had before, but it was a nice thought. And I was hardly irritated when I went downstairs and found he had used my new towel set to dry the dog. Or that my bathroom rug felt like it had been through a monsoon. Not even when I had to get on my hands and knees and clean the shower drain free of a hairball the size of a guinea pig. It's all good. My kid helped without being asked. Makes a momma proud. That is until I got out of the shower the next morning and grabbed my hairbrush. My new hair brush, that makes my hair do that perfect smooth ,flippy behind my ears thing (without being too poofy or frizzy)....like no other brush I have ever owned has done. The hairbrush that now has old, wet dog hair matted into the bristles. Yes, he groomed the dog with my hairbrush. Would it be wierd to put a kid on restriction for doing chores?

Questions and comments heard in the green house

By Teresa

I hope your car is really messed up.

Where did you hide the candy bars?!?!

If you can cut all the hair off the back of your head without consulting me, I can shave my head without asking you.

How do you like my hair?
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaa......hahahahahahahahaahaha
Gee...thanks.

You know I do not bend over in the daytime.

Theodore Roosevelt was just staring at me in the mddle of the night.

I was more confused than a cow on AstroTurf.

When I'm out of town in a hotel, it's like being at home.  I leave the rooms messy, come back and its all clean again.

You can't say thirty quietly.  Go ahead, try.
Thirty.  
See, you were loud.

Nut up or shut up.

Laugh and the world laughs with you

By Teresa

Picked up my rental car today,
Teenager not paying attention in school parking lot...bam...hence rental car.
Anyway, I picked it up and Ryan (the enterprise man) did the once over before handing me the keys.
Smudge on side door...check.
Scratch on hood...check.
Cigarette burn on rear seat...check.
Then we were off. Ben was thrilled (the kid is seriously insane about cars) and had it programmed to Sirius satellite radio and synced the Bluetooth to my phone before we even got home. He spent the next few hours in the car, in the driveway calling people by yelling out, "CALL. ....". I even got a text from Chris, who is in Richmond, wanting to know if everything is okay. He was in a meeting and kept getting calls from my number. Lol.
Later, after Ben's insistence that we pleeeease go somewhere, we went to dinner with my mother. While driving home, he was pointing out things about the car to her. Then he said, "nanny, look at this cigarette butt hole in the seat". At which I busted out laughing so hard I actually couldn't see while driving for about 30 seconds...cause my son said butt hole...get it? Hahahahaaha
Ben's response to my guffawing was..."real mature mom!". Which made me laugh even harder, cause my 12yr old had to call me out for laughing at butt hole. Great parenting moment.

Stealing from a poor widower...I feel so ashamed

By Teresa

I got home from running errands today. Mom heard me pull up and met me in the driveway. "I did a bad thing", she said.
"I made a cake for Roger (man across the street, whose wife died two days ago) and I cut it and ate a piece instead of giving it to him". Then she told me she had cut it in half and slipped it in my kitchen while I was gone.
And I ate some too....now I'm an accomplice.

Questions and comments heard in the Green house this week

Hey mom, am I circumcised?

(overheard by mom) hey dad, was mom smart when she was in school?

I am scared to ride with him!!! So why did you make me get in the car!??! I don't make you sit in a room full of clowns!

Put on some Simon and Garfunkle.
What?
Simon and Garfunkle.
Oh... I thought you cussed.

You can't study math, u either know it or you don't.
Nice try...now get upstairs and study now!

Lookout!! That corvette is speeding and whipping around the cars. You know he has a small penis, right?

What are u saying to yourself to make your eyebrows move?

What's your favorite food?
Crust.

Some women call there vaginas pocketbooks.
Well that makes sense. When some women open them up, they get money.

I go nuts for doughnuts

by teresa

Just wanted to express my joy at waking on Mothers Day morning to find hot, fresh Krispy Kreme doughnuts waiting for me. Chris and Ben snuck out and bought me some, knowing they are my favorite things in the whole world.
Apparently the love of sugar circles runs in the family. Saturday, mom brought some to the soccer field to share and Kaden freaked out on us all when she was not allowed the last one (it was saved for someone else and she had already had two). She stomped, grabbed, kicked and scratched as we held the box out of her reach. Mom had to lock it in the car to keep her off it. Then her dad glanced up from coaching and saw what had happened. He took her aside and gave her "a talk". She slowly made her way over to mom and me. Face to the ground, frown on the face. Once she reached us she said quietly, "sorry". I hugged her and said, "I know sweetie...sometimes doughnuts make you go nuts...huh?" She smiled and agreed whole heartedly. Then ran off with a smile.
I bet the same thing would have happened on Mothers Day, if I was in the same situation. Fortunately for Chris, he bought TWO dozen. One for the family and one for ME!

nothing says I love you like a bowl of cream of wheat

Happy 16th Birthday to our son Nick. We had planned to wake up early and take him to Shoneys breakfast buffet before school. He turned us down and said all he would want for his birthday breakfast was his Nanny Allen's cream of wheat. This stuff is legendary in our family. Creamy, hot and sweeter than a birthday cake! I called mom when he hopped in the shower so she could prepare it and bring it over at the perfect time (one of a trillion benefits of living next door to her). We are not having his big fiesta till Thursday (dad is out of town) so mom and I sang to him and she put a candle in his bowl. That stuff was thick enough to hold that candle in place till I found and set up my camera. Love it! Also, he couldn't finish the whole bowl....so happy birthday to me too!

As the world turns

By Teresa

The last month has been a blur.
Seriously....where did April go?
I had a few weeks to recover from surgery and then me and the Parkway ladies jumped right into Easter egg production.
Three weeks of orders, sugar and icing. Long days at church made for incredible nights of sleep, where my head barely touched the pillow and I was off in dreamland.
It is a week out from Easter and I have caught back up on laundry, cooking and family time.
Easter was so wonderful. Church with the family and then home to relax and enjoy a cookout in our backyard. The weather couldn't have been better. We did miss Sissy and Neal, but they had to work. They did stop by the next day for leftovers and of course their peanut butter eggs with their names on it.
The biggest news around here, by far, is my dads truck. Rising gas prices and repairs led to my mom having to sell it. I know it was hard for her to let it go (she admitted she cried at the dealership) but it was the smart and practical thing to do. She bought a cute, blue, new Honda civic. She looks so right in it and I know my dad would be happy that she did something good for herself.
I will post pictures of some of the highlights of the month later in the week. Right now I am heading to bed to get ready for some hardcore spoiling and pampering tomorrow. Why? Tomorrow is our Nickys 16th birthday! And I want to make it as special for him as he is to us.

Best lines of the month:
It's weird looking out the window and not seeing dad in the driveway.
It ain't Easter if I don't have my peanut butter egg!
Oooo dad.....you made mom mad. She's giving you the skank eye. (it's not skank eye son....it's stank eye!)
It's been a month since they took your ovary and you haven't been grumpy at all. I was really scared about that.
Kaden told me I had strawberry diarrhea.

march madness

by teresa The 2011 NCAA championship has come and gone. We filled out the brackets and cheered on our teams. It's been a fun thing to do as a family. Even more fun since....I WON! I had UConn winning the whole thing and they did. The funny thing is, I don't even like UConn. They are cocky, and I don't like that. But they win. They played so well in their conference tournament that I felt they could ride it all the way. Also, I like their uniforms.

Questions and comments heard in the Green house this week

by teresa

Oh dang, I accidentally bought pantyhose socks again.

That man ain't right, he's going to be in the nervous hospital soon.

I am very cool...who wouldn't want to hang out with me?

When you haven't pooped, can't poop and then do poop, it is a very exciting thing.

Dad said he likes it when you sleep in my bed cause then he can listen to the radio all night.

I guess all the wet got used up earlier.

I'm not trying to have somebody break a shin!

He's gone, let's move so he doesn't know where we live.

Nick, don't put your feet in the drink.

I didn't get a birthday this year. I turned 40 and I didn't even get birds in the yard.

*argue* *slam* *screaming*stomping* *pushing* *glaring* *threats* *tattling* (Mom and dad finally intervene) "What did he do?" (Kid) "He wrote on my calendar!" (Mom and dad) "Seriously????"

The dog has been teasing me all day.

Your stupid pantyhose socks are stuck to everything in the dryer!

texting conversation between sisters

by teresa

sent:Is Kristian going to youth group? Did u c the blog? *

received:I'm not sure if she is, she is with Keith this weekend. And, no I havnt read the blog yet. I will when I get home. *

sent: Where U B?

received: We are at glory's bakery? You jealous? (yes, I was) *

sent: get me some pepperoni bread, woman! with a lumpia chaser! *

received:haha...we are getting dessert before going out to eat with mike's family. *

sent: And? That has to do with my request how? lol *

received: Don't eat....it's on the way

sent: I'm at soccer practice. Eeeeeeeeeeee! Put it in moms fridge so I don't have to share. hee hee thanks! *

received: April fools *

sent: Uuuuuuuuuu suuuuuuckkk!!!! *

received: just kidding, I will put it in moms fridge. *

sent: I don't believe you *

received: I promise on alllllll my kids (good Lord there's a lot of them too) *

sent: That's not good enough....do you swear on the life of Dog the Bounty Hunter? (Katy's favorite show) *

received: Yes....I solemnly swear. *

sent: solemnly swear huh? If you are using Harry Potter terms I know u must b telling the truth! *

received: u can "Avada Kadavra" me if I'm lying! (It's the killing curse...very serious)

the runt

by teresa

Today Vin had his 6 month check up.

He is 13 pounds 14 ounces. Pretty small compared to all the other babies in our family. I guess he's the runt of the litter, like Babe. Hopefully he too will grow up strong and smart enough to lead a flock of talking sheep into a pen. Or some other really great accomplishment.

Seriously, the dr. said he is in the 5% for weight. Katy has been instructed to feed him. hahahahahaha. I know she already is doing that, but now the doctor said to feed him whenever he makes a peep. *peep* rice cereal *peep* pears *peep* donut (nevermind...that's just for me).

I give it two weeks and that kids gonna be packing on the pounds like the rest of us.

(picture of Vin and his half brother Kingston in the cowboys hats I bought the girls from the thriftstore. It is in black and white so you can't tell the hats are pink!)

I even miss his snoring

By Teresa

Today was a good day.
Went all day with no fever. I even felt good enough to do a couple tubs of laundry.
Lauren came over (hadn't seen her in 24 days) and she took Ben out shopping for notebooks and then brought home chicfila.
We all ate and then mom came over and we watched American Idol.
It was so nice to hang out with her and I hope she does it more often.
I am beyond thrilled that Chris will be back in town tomorrow night. We have really missed him around here these past two weeks!

One step forward, two steps back

By Teresa

Not myself today.
Doing everything I can to recoup from surgery, but infection, bruising, bleeding and nausea are making it difficult to improve fast enough to keep up with life and all my commitments.
I don't like this.
It makes me sad.
I burst into tears like an idiot at the doctors this morning.
I felt better after I did though.
I haven't read a book in weeks, I just can't focus.
I wish it was warm outside, I would lounge in the hammock.

Dork or not dork?

By Teresa

You decide?
Things Nick has said to us lately.

"Mom, we should get a bay window, so I could sit in it and think about life."

"There is a lot of trouble in this world...and if you worry, you make it double." "That's a Bob Marley quote...yep that just happened.". Then he walked out of the room leaving Chris and I just staring at each other.

*walks into room where Chris and I are talking...starts playing his ukulele quietly*
"Don't mind me, just keep talking. Im going to play music to go along with what your saying...like a soundtrack to a movie."

"I want a Tandem bike for my birthday". "Either that, or a sound board". "Oh yea, or a sock monkey costume".

"Hey mom...don't worry, be happy". Then he proceeded to sing the song over and over for the rest of the weekend until I wanted to move his bed out to the garage. It did NOT make me happy.

The truth and nothing but the truth, so help you God.

By Teresa

I keep my tweezers in my car. That is where I do my eyebrows because it is the best light and the mirror is literally and inch from my face. No, not while driving. Only in the driveway...and only when the car is parked beside the house. I don't want the neighbors to think I'm a loon. It also keeps the boys from messing with them, which they would do if they were in the house. Previous pairs have been found in toy boxes, under beds and in the backyard. The other day I went outside to have a little pluck time. It was about ten days post surgery and I was finally caring about what I looked like. I climbed in the car and reached for my tweezers (in the pocket inside the door).
They were gone.
Grrrrrrrr!
I stomped back in the house (well,not stomped...I was still sore. But in my mind I was stomping) and commenced the fussing.
After my ranting all I got was a bunch of "not me's" and "why would we touch your tweezers mom?"
I started doubting myself. Did I put them back last time? Are they in a purse? Maybe they fell under the seat? That is until later that night when i found the remains of my precious tweezers in the corner beside the couch. Comfort grips pulled off and sides bent into a deep V, with no hope of the points ever touching again. When I showed the boys they just stared like deer in headlights. Then Ben was like, "oh yeh...the tweezers. I remember now. I got them out of the car cause I had a splinter. But I did not pull those thingys off the sides!"
We all turned to Nick who grinned like the Cheshire Cat.
I am making a list of chores that they will do to work off payment for my new tweezers (which I will now hide in an undisclosed location). I will also add a few things to the list in payment of my gray hair and c-section scars. Which is only fair after having to sport a unibrow until I was released to drive again and make a trip to walgreens.

I should play the lotto

By Teresa

March madness has begun.
No, not the search for my lost flip flop...the NCAA basketball tournaments.
Ben had blank brackets printed for each member of the family and busted our chops to fill them out a week before games even began.
Because we refuse to have a foot race with him, he has to find some way to make our lives into a competition.
He checks all the scores constantly, tallying points and giving unsolicited updates on our progress.
With 32 games those first few days, playing on five different networks, he was running in every other hour with different results.
Chris said, he wondered if we would be getting so many updates if Ben wasnt in the lead most of the time?
I filled mine out last, actually the day games began. I was so high on pain meds. that I really had no interest in participating at all..
The games have been going on for two weeks now. From 64 teams to the final 16.
Guess who's winning?
Hahahahaha...that's right....ME!

Just a little off the top

By Teresa

Last week when I was out of commission, Chris took the boys for their hair cuts.
Over to sports clips, where the girls in referee out fits give them a shampoo and cut. Nick always tries to talk me into splurging for the mvp package so he can get a massage too (to no avail).
I was worried they would come home looking like new recruits, buzzed within an 1/8 of an inch from their scalps.
But dad did me proud. They arrived coiffed and gelled to perfection. Dad loved it, I loved it and most importantly, they loved it.
As a matter of fact, Ben now spends more time in front of the mirror than my sister...which is saying a lot. Lol. Waxing, mussing, brushing...repeat. It's so funny.
Nick loves his new style just as much. He can now where a hat without looking like cousin It in a Yamaka.
Chris pointed out another plus to his haircut. He said Nick's hair was so long and with us looking so much alike, he was afraid one day he was gonna smack Nick on the butt, thinking it was me passing by.
Nick said the funniest thing when I remarked that he finally had side burns.
He said,"I was wanting to grow mutton chops, but with my genes all I can manage is a dirty mexi-stach."

back to life

by teresa

So much going on since my last entry.
Band festival, two soccer tournaments (won both of them), three birthdays (Ben, mom and Chris) and two surgeries for the momma.
Lots of hoo hah and whoopsie doo's in between and a whole lot of crazy that makes up our everyday lives.
Glad to back blogging. Actually glad to be back doing anything. I felt like after my surgery, I have been locked away from the world. In my castle, taken care of by my princes, who filled my room with gold fish, diet coke and vicodin. What more could a girl ask for?
Today I will venture out into the world to seek thrills and folly. Actually I am just heading to the dry cleaners and post office and then back home to nap. But who's to say where adventure lies?
With me, it's always right outside my door.

I will leave you with my favorite conversation of the month.

Me: Eww, I think the dog puked on our bed!
Chris: O, thank goodness. I thought it was you having some kind of sick person stank.

Conversations with a teen

By Teresa

Mom: (pauses tv, hears shuffling around in the fridge). "Nick, what are you doing in there?"

*silence*

Mom: "Nick...what are you into?"

Nick: "Nothing.". (said in a mouth full, mumbly kind of way)

Mom: "what are you eating?"

Nick: "coke."

Mom: "since when do you have to chew coke?"

can I go to the nurse please?

by teresa

Katy called and needed me to pick up Kai from school today. She had a few too many kids and not enough car seats to make her going up there possible. I ran a few streets over to get him (after changing into something nice, applying makeup and fixing my hair). I could not walk into SRI (my old domain) looking like a shabby housewife who hadn't showered. I got to see all my old friends (secretaries, teachers, security guard and principal) and got lots of hugs, which made my day. I really miss the family atmosphere there. I went back to the nurses office where Kai was laying on a bed, lights down low. She and I walked over to him and asked how he was doing. He said his tummy still hurt. I asked if he had thrown up and he said, "no, but I did have chronic diarrhea". That cracked the nurse and I up. She said had she known it was a chronic situation, she would have called sooner.

Questions and comments heard in the Green house this week

by teresa

There are vultures eating Shorty's bone in the backyard!
I hope you mean the steak bone I gave him.

I don't want to freeze my bahiggy's off.

No wonder these pillows smell like nuts sometimes.

Do you want me to make them feel better?

I got a stupid fever blister cause I don't like my boobs touched by strangers.

You're all up in my crack.

Mom, if you get any shorter they might give you your own show on TLC called "Little Mommas".

Just eat your meat and be happy!

Guess Nook took my nooky.

Put your gloves on and come to bed.

When you take him for his haircut make sure to ask for the non Moe trim.

One minute your Farmvilling and the next your dead.

I like snuggling with a snack bar supervisor.

Honey....did you break the bed?

I hope I don't get gassy when I'm there...you know how I get when I'm nervous

By Teresa
Going to my first mammogram appointment today.
I'm kinda nervous, as I am doing anything new and unknown.
I even woke up with a fever blister...dang.
I will be so glad when this is over and I can check it off my list.
Chris has been pestering me since September (I turned 40) to get this done.
I wonder if I would have to remind him, if the shoe were on the other foot?

If winning isn't everything, why do they keep score?

by teresa

Sports and kids are and interesting combination.

Sometimes exhilarating, sometimes frustrating and sometimes down right heart attack inducing.

With three kids in our house who have played five different sports (yes, cheering counts as a sport), we have been through a spectrum of emotions. You start out with high hopes of shooting, stealing, scoring, etc. You quickly learn that your kids motivations are much different than yours. They are there for social time and snack time. Before the first whistle even blows they are wanting to know what the after game snack is going to be. I not only have my own children to cheer on, but have had the privilege of watching my oldest nieces and nephew pick flowers in a field (play soccer). This week Kaden (age 5) played her first basketball game. She is built like an athlete, has a daddy for a coach and looks adorable in the uniform. What else do you need? During pregame warm ups she was smiling, participating and waving to us. Once the whistle blew for the game to begin she freaked out. I know it is just about the most frustrating thing for a parent to go through...but for an aunt...it's hilarious to watch. What? I've been there, done that. Now it's time for me to giggle and point like all those older parents did to me when I was in tears as Nick was grabbing my leg and screaming that I wouldn't go out on the field with him. She did end up out on the court for a few minutes, but never let go of her daddy's leg (yes, he was on the court with her). hahahaha

Oh the joys parenting!

Pic. #1

Daddy Josh and Kaden running out on the court as their team name is announced!

Pic. #2

Kaden looking over at me with a smile, excited for her game.

Pic. #3

Josh getting them lined up, ready for game to begin

Pic. #4

Ben consoling Kaden who was sobbing on the bench after the whistle blew

Pic. #5

Kaden in the game, Josh trying to pry her hands off his pants legs

"It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live, remember that." Albus Dumbledore

by teresa

Last night I babysat for Vin, who is now 3 and 1/2 months. I have not spent as much time with him as my other nieces and nephews, since he doesn't live next door like they did. So I thought this would be a good chance to sit down with him one on one and impart a little aunt wisdom and guidance. I wanted to teach him about love, courage, victory of good over evil, loyalty, sacrifice and selflessness. We had a good chat and in the end, I think he was all the better for it.

Some folks are wise, and some are otherwise

By Teresa

I did a Really stupid thing the other day. I'm sure it's something I should have known, especially at my age. But alas, forty doesn't necessarily mean your a walking google (answers for every question).
Everyone had left for school and I was cleaning the kitchen. Scraping breakfast bits off dishes and wiping off the counters. I loaded the dishwasher and reached for a cascade gel ball to stick it so I could get the load running and move on to making beds, folding laundry and head to the grocery store. The cascade bag was empty. Crud! I really wanted to get these dishes done....so I reached for my dish soap. Maybe I could just put a bit of a squirt in the little cleaner compartment and it would be good enough? So I did. I set it...and went on to finish my list of to do's. About an hour later I was upstairs putting away clothes in Ben's room when Shorty came upstairs to spy on me (he follows me from room to room most days). I glanced over at him and screamed. He was covered in something. Something white. It was flinging all over the carpet as he shook himself beside me. Omg!!! It was bubbles!
I ran downstairs and found out where he had been bathing....the kitchen. I had stuck his food bowl in front of the dishwasher and that knucklehead dog had stood there chowing down as our maytag spurt out foam all over his head (and the entire floor). Hahahahahahaha
I laughed till my sides hurt while I mopped up the floor and dried off Shortman before anyone came home to find out the dumb thing I had done. I must keep up appearances of perfection at all times. Lol.
I added cascade to my grocery list and pulled out all the dishes and rinsed them thoroughly before reloading the washer to be run after my trip to the store.
Oh well, you live and learn.
On the upside....my kitchen floor has never looked so good!

he needs his rabies and his "I'm too lazy to walk outside so I will just pee on the floor" shots

by teresa

Taking Shorty to the vet this morning.
I think he knows something up.
I just found him hiding in the shower.
too funny!


Add on:
Shorty did great, although he did freak out and shed most of his fur off on me.
Funny thing happened on the way home. One of those tiny yippy dogs jumped out of the window of the car driving in front of me. The driver flipped out and came to a Dukes of Hazzard stop right on Indian River Road. She leapt out of the still running car and started chasing after the dog. It was insane. I felt bad for her and almost turned around further down the road to stop and help. Then I remembered that this was the same road Chris uses to drive to and from work. And if he drove by and saw me darting in and out of traffic he may just take me to get a rabies shot too.

Questions and comments heard in the Green house in December

By Teresa

I got a brand new pair of roller-skates you got a brand new key

Go repent for those potatoes!
The devil made me put pumpkin in it

Stop screaming...I can't drive when you're screaming!
We can't help it...we thought we were going to die.

We pulled up to church and the cops were pulling a guy out of the bushes.

How come the two times a year I crave a powdered donut I happen to have on a black shirt?

The cashier at walmart sprayed me with diet coke.

Are you gelling?

Don't hit the old lady!!!

Hey, look at that cloud. Isn't it very pretty and cloudish?

Y'all are not allowed in the bathroom at the same time...bad things happen!

Come on...somebody even ate half the grizzle.

Did she break her face off?

Why am I always black in here?

He's not homeless, he just waited on me at wendys last week.

Just call us the spaghetti bandits.

where are my ear muffs?

by teresa

Busy weekend ahead of us.
My uncle and his boys are driving down from No.Va. for a visit.
I am their cousin, but since there is a HUGE age difference between us (I am 40 and they are 14 and 10), I refer to them as my nephews. Mom is making chili (perfect for this weather) and we will dine and catch up on the Dyer/Allen/Green events we have missed over the past six months apart.
Ben has a soccer tournament Sat. and Sun. which I was really looking forward to, until I saw a chance of snow on the weather report. Snow and soccer are two things that should NOT go together. The cool thing is it will be The Monarchs 100th game, since the team formed in 2008. I'm hoping for a victory to celebrate it properly. In case your wondering, their record is 78-10-11. Not bad for a hodge podge of recreation league kids that make up the most diverse team in Chesapeake soccer. Love those boys!

Something is up.

By Teresa

My son told me we were out of mouthwash in his bathroom.
I didn't even think he knew what mouthwash was.
I have noticed his toothbrush and deodorant out on the counter every day for three weeks.
The shampoo and body wash was emptied, replaced and emptied again.

Something (or someone) is definitely going on at school.

The little drummer boy resides here

By Teresa

Ben and most of the other kids in his band class took a test last week. A test to see if they had any rhythm and could follow the beat give by the teacher. He was the only one in his bell to pass. What does this mean? I didn't know myself until Ben came home with instructions yesterday. "My teacher says to take my saxophone back to the music store and get a percussion set".
Percussion set!?
As in a drum in my house?!
We did the exchange and came home with twenty pounds of instruments and stands, zipped into a carrying case that stands to my chest. I had to clean out my trunk to transport it to school. It has a snare drum and a xylophone. And their stands and various sticks to pound with. Oh my Lord!
This has violated one of the three no no's in the Green house.
1. No play dough.
2. No fingernail polish.
3. NO DRUMS!

The first two were put into effect the day after Lauren learned to walk.

Questions and comments heard in the Green house this week

By Teresa

I'm needy.

All this work for some stupid candy canes!

I finished my Christmas decorating...I bought four bags of red and green m&m's.

Mom, can I drive your car? Yes, but no more than 5mph so my cranberry sauce doesn't spill.

Did you get your tubes tied mom?
Yes.
Well then how do you pee?

Makes me think of Christ just looking at it.

I almost gave a homeless lady my soccer chair today.

Quoting the new pretzel m&m commercial..."no way you're putting that giant thing inside me!"
That's what she said.

You're not stupid...your mother is.

They perfected mashed potatoes back at Plymouth Rock, there was no need to add pumpkin to it.

Rednecks scare me.

it's the great pumpkin Charlie Brown!

by teresa

We enjoyed a relaxing Thanksgiving at Jackie and George's yesterday. We split the cooking, making it a lot less tiring.
Katy had mom and The Daddy to her house. Ben took his bike over so he could ride between houses to sample both dinners. Lauren and Nick did the same thing, having cheesecake at Nanny Jackie's and then Nanny Allen's carrot cake at Katy's.
The joke of the day was my attempt at fancy cuisine. I made pumpkin potato puree. Chris kept joking me. "They already perfected the recipe for mashed potatoes long ago, there was no need to throw pumpkin in there." Then he would suggest putting pumpkin in anything we were eating....to make it taste better. I told Jackie that I was going to put pumpkin in everything I make for the next couple of weeks, just to punish him.

scrambled eggs & pumpkin.
grilled cheese with pumpkin.
steak and baked pumpkin.

If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, "thank you," that would suffice.

by teresa

Leave me alone

By Teresa

An outstanding weekend.
Went on a dinner date to Savannah's on Friday night, enjoyed the most amazing book club on Saturday night, Ben's season closer on Sunday and a birthday party for Bens best buddy Joe last night. Chris and the boys also headed to the ODU sports grille to watch the basketball team play in the Virgin Islands on multiple big screens while eating wings, fries and quesadillas. I think that was the highlight of their weekend.
So much fun over three days equals no rest and relaxation. So, I am paying the price of a party girl this morning. I'm tired and a tad bit grumpy.
Six hours of alone time to catch up on laundry and cleaning should be the cure.
I love Mondays.

Making memories

By Teresa

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 was the best movie of the series. Hands down.
I went with Katy, Kristian, Ben and Kai. Nick had a ticket to go and bailed before we left.
He's such a muggle.
I would post awesome pictures of us in line, but Katy forgot the camera I asked her to bring.
I told her, if we don't have photos, then it never really happened.

Our friends, the Dodgers from soccer, came too. We all sat together and shared candy and popcorn.
The candy was pre bought and stuffed in pockets, down pants and in purses. Katy even pulled out water bottles from somewhere when the kids got thirsty. Too funny. $9.00 for a soda and candy bar.....I don't think so!

The iPad was a lifesaver for us. We played the violin, had math game races and drew pictures.

Kai fell asleep about and hour into the movie, but the rest of the kids did great.
We got home around 3:30am and nobody was whining about being tired.
I am feeling great and wide awake this morning.
Anybody want to put in a bet guessing when I'm going to crash and burn?
1:00pm...2:00pm maybe?

sleep!? I don't need no stinkin' sleep!

by teresa

I picked up the tickets, bought the candy, charged the camera and Ipad and took a little nap.

Bring on the movie!

this picture is from the 2005 book release of The Half Blood Prince.

The things this man does to keep me happy!

Questions and comments heard in the Green house this week

By Teresa

Have you wore your head thong lately?

I'm very sound effecty today.

Nick needs a marker to color his pacman.

No Mexican mafia or slippers are allowed at the basketball games.

Embarrassing, is your son noticing the hickey on your neck on the way to school. I was caught off guard by his questioning and lied that I burned in with a hair straightener. (sorry nick)

I wish your father was alive so he could put you on restriction!

I fell asleep on the bus trip and evidently there was a girl brushing my hair. She brought the brush back to me at school today.
Are we supposed to buy that you didn't realize a girl was brushing your hair?

You must have one of thoses spandex things on because your stomach looks flat.

Ben asked for the Lowes card so he could buy more Christmas lights.

Mom, why are you scared to drive with me?

I am determined to get this on film!

by teresa

I see it after my morning "mom's taxi" run. Not everyday, but most days.
It's an older model four door with a homemade paint job.
You know the kind, looks like it was colored with markers and primer.
This particular beater caught my attention because of the special decoration that has been applied all over the body. I am pretty sure it's supposed to be lips. Giant lips. I'm guessing the man who drives it likes to kiss or is telling the world to kiss off. I don't know.
All I know is the guy reeeeeeally needs to take an art class. Cause it looks like his car is covered in vagina's. Seriously. That's exactly what is looks like. I was thinking back to Ben's 2nd grade project. I wonder if this young man's mother has discussed his proclivity for drawing vajayjays instead of lips on her blog? I just hope Ben decides to use Maaco when the time comes, so I won't be as embarrassed as gyno's. mom.

The Beast!

By Teresa
Ben's team traveled to NewPort News for a tournament this weekend. They were testing the waters, playing teams in the two levels above us in our travel league. The boys came out champions with 4 wins and 0 losses. Ben played outstanding and his team nicknamed him "The Beast". If your interested in more info., click here for the team website.

"There is no love sincerer than the love of food." George Bernard Shaw

By Teresa

Piled on our bed, late Saturday night, recapping our days with the boys. Ben's talking about day one of his tournament and Nick is telling me all about the ODU football game. I asked him if his friend Marcus enjoyed the game and tailgating. He said they had a blast and both chowed down on the food I sent (hamburgers, brats and shrimp). "After we ate and chilled, dad gave us our tickets and let us walk around campus and head to the stadium on our own". He said they went in the web center and hung out with some students and then he casually mentions another tailgate lot they hit. Have you ever seen the movie Wedding Crashers? The characters go from wedding to wedding, of people they don't know, just for the free party and food. Well, Nick is a tailgate crasher. In his words, "Mom, we went to the rich people lot next to the stadium (you have to donate like $5,000 to get on this lot) and joined the party". I was dying laughing. I asked him how in the world did he do it? He said, he and Marcus were just mingling and a nice lady asked If they wanted a plate of food. Of course they didn't turn it down! "I had fried fish, fried chicken, macaroni and cheese and some puffy thing". "They even had a cool ice sculpture of a lions head!". Only my kids! This reminds me of the time Lauren went up to a stranger and asked if she could have some of their donuts.
I guess next year I'm going to gave to do better than grilled brats and potato salad.

Let's get together

By Teresa

Quote from the hubby:
"if you wanted to have me all to yourself on our anniversary, you shouldn't have married me during basketball season".

Chris and the boys spent the night at the ODU game and I spent the night watching Diners, Drive ins and Dives with our dog.

Don't feel bad for me, we will have a date night soon. I bought this weeks groupon for Veneziano's (a favorite dive of ours).

I will get the chicken parm. and he will get ziti. We will talk about our younger days and he will make me laugh so hard we will get angry stares. We will get dessert and then stretch out the night by driving around his grandparents old neighborhood near the zoo.

My life's like groundhogs day (the movie) except the day I am repeating is the best day of my life.

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person,

By Teresa

The first boy to hold my hand and gave me my first kiss (on the porch of the house next door to where we live today).
I still have the first present he ever gave me (a music box with a bear on top). He saved his newspaper delivery money to buy it for me.
He is the smartest person I know.
He is the funniest person I know.
A great father(and uncle).
Godly example to us and others.
Supports our family so I can be involved in our childrens lives.

Titles:
Coach
Vice president
Teacher
Stud muffin

To the best man I know,
Happy anniversary.
Love,
Gidget

Questions and comments heard in the Green house

By Teresa

Get your head out of the oven you stupid dog!

Mom, will you take me driving?

How many years have we been married? Too many.

It stinks so bad, but I'm too lazy to get up.

I hope the lady in the bedroom slippers brings us our food this time.

Why is you mothers picture on your drivers license?

Do you think I'm Jewish?

Dad, will you take me driving?

Oh goody, you wore your lumberjack shirt.

Aren't you proud of me, I bought my first box of chicken broth?

Do you have your boob out again?

I cleaned the backyard today honey. That's a good girl. I think I'll keep you around awhile.

Ok...who left the banana peel under the couch cushion? I guess I should be happy they are eating some fruit.

What's that noise? It sounds like the dogs puking. Well hurry up and get him outside! Don't worry...he'll eat it after he finishes. Gross!!

Mom, if you let me drive your car I'll give you a hug.

Sometimes I understand why animals eat their young

By Teresa

Early to rise this morning. The sixth grade classes at Ben and Kristian's school are going to Richmond on a field trip. She spent the night last night so they could both ride together. We made bagged lunches, laid out clothes and got them to bed early. My friend Sonja offered to pick the kids up on the way to taking her son to school. I was happy to accept her help so I wouldn't have to get viewer friendly before 5:00am.
The kids got up great and out the door without a hitch. I, in my pj's, snuggled up on the couch and drifted off to sleep. That is until 15 minutes later when Ben called frantic that he had left his lunch in Sonja's backseat. "mom...I need a lunch quick before the buses leave"!
Good grief.
He wanted me to call her and get her to bring his lunch to him. That was not going to happen. Me, call the poor woman at 5:30am and ask her to get back in her car and take my irresponsible son his lunch? So I threw together the quickest lunch sack ever made, grabbing whatever was within reach in the fridge. That half opened, hard on the edge cheese stick, leftover piece of steak, the five year old can of fruit cocktail in the back of the cabinet a corona and a lime.
Just kidding....but you get the idea.
After dressing in what was laying on the floor, I grabbed my keys and flew to the school. As I walked in Bens principal, and my childhood friend greeted me at the door with a giggle. I looked a hot mess and I had a "tude" you could feel a mile away. I told her my story and she pointed toward the auditorium where the kids were lining up to board the buses. I spotted Ben right away. Standing with some friends, laughing.....with his flipping lunch in his hands. Really?!
Sweet Sonja had noticed his lunch in the backseat and drove back and gave it to him.
Then he was like, "oh, I forgot to call and tell you she brought it to me....sorry."
As I walked out to my car, lunch still in hand, the principal laughed. She said, "I wont even ask."
It's going to be a long day.

We should have known

By Teresa

A few weeks ago Chris saw a book out on the living room table. This is not a weird thing in our house. We have books piled and stacked pretty much everywhere. What got his attention was the particular book that was out. The title, The Norton Anthology:World Masterpieces. Homer, Aristotle, Beowulf, Dante, Chaucer to name a few. I think he was impressed that his little wifey was reading such impressive material. He made a comment about it to me. That's when I told him that it was not me that was reading it. I had seen it out and thought he was the one reading it. We laughed and wondered which of the boys would have gotten it out of the bookcase? I didn't remember it out on the table before Ben had gone to bed, so it had to be Nick. The thought of Nick reading Don Quixote or Othello without a gun to his head had me puffing out my chest a little. Finally, my reading gene had woke up inside of him. He came down for breakfast the next day and Chris and I asked him about the book he was reading. "Huh"?, was all we got out of him. I showed him the book. This is what he said after he stopped laughing. "I wasn't reading it...I was using it as drums".
Apparently 2,270 page works of fiction are not just good for filling your mind with knowledge, it also makes a cool bass drum.

Let them eat cake.

By Teresa

We visited Lauren's apartment about a week back. If I hadn't called and told her we were coming, we probably wouldn't have heard from her till Christmas. The kid is as antisocial as her dad...just sayin'.
I picked up groceries on the way, figuring her rations were probably slim ( we had filled her fridge about 2 months earlier).
Whne I opened the fridge to load it up there was only one thing in it. A cake.
This just cracked me up.
No milk, no sandwich fixin's, no ketchup, no drink....just cake.
Hahahahahahaha
She had baked it herself. She said she has baked several cakes since she's been there.
Sounds like how my mom would live as a co-ed...doesn't it?

iPad on a Sunday morning

By Teresa

Sitting in the bed blogging,
Ben is in between Chris and I...and the dog is at our feet.
Chris was humming a song and I found it and played it.
I am looking up a recipe on smitten kitten (food blog) and scanning through a magazine for teacher gift ideas for Christmas.
Just got a tweet from CNN news and an email from Ben's coach.
Checked the weather and saw that Ben's soccer game this afternoon is going to be a chilly one.
Wished a friend happy birthday and gave my cousin a virtual hug.
The bed is now empty save me, so I will click over to my morning devotions and then head down to make breakfast.
My head hasn't left the pillow yet.
Technology at it's finest.

Odu overload

By Teresa

Today there is an ODU football game in the afternoon and a ODU basketball game tonight.
Ben has three school friends coming and none of the other wives are attending this week.
As much as I enjoy the games, I might try to skip out on the testosterone fest.
I already cooked a pork butt for sandwiches and bought drinks an chips. So, they probably wouldn't even know I wasn't there.
The tailgating will begin at 11:00am and the basketball game will end around10:00pm.
I don't think I can handle that much fun (insert sarcastic look here).

What does it say about me that I wouldn't pick him up for being sick, but did for b.o.'ing?

By Teresa

So I get a text from Nick last week. It was during school and a test day. He says,"mom...I need you to pick me up". I was having none of it. I knew he was stuffy when he left for school, we all were. Allergies...what are you gonna do? I texted him back to suck it up and get through the day. He kept texting me and I just ignored him. That is until I got this text message. " mom, I smell"!
Apparently, Nick was not feeling sick. He had forgot to put on deodorant that morning, went to gym class, got funky and needed to come home and change clothes. Hahahahahaa
After joking him mercilessly, I picked him up and brought him home to freshen up.

where have I been?

by teresa

I just thought I would give a quick explanation as to why I haven't blogged in a month.
In a word...IPAD.
The day of my last post my wonderful hubby gave me an ipad for my 40th birthday.
That night I downloaded two ereaders on it. Kindle and Nook. Do I need to say anymore?
I have read 24 (I actually looked it up) books since then. Oh my gosh!
And yes, my house is clean, family is fed and hubby is...*ahem*happy.
I read in line at the bank, while getting my car worked on, in the car waiting for the kids to get out of school, in bed (the screen is lit...with a dimmer), during soccer practice, while I'm cooking, etc.
I also have recipes on it, Internet, games, movies, all my music and photos.
It's seriously incredible!
I will try to set it aside everyday for a moment to talk to you so you (Sterling) won't feel neglected again.

“Never forget me, because if I thought you would, I'd never leave.” A.A. Milne

by teresa
Ben has reclaimed the cupboard under the stairs.
He has set up a bigger light, blankets and a homework area under there.
The homework area is my kitchen stool, which he scoots up over his outstretched legs for a make shift desk. It's been a while since Ben has ventured under the stairs and I thought he had long since outgrown it. I am so glad he hasn't. Praise the Lord for the little things that touch a mom's heart. Like a middle schooler (and the baby of the family) holding on to that little boy imagination a bit longer.
Before I know it he will have gone from secret clubhouses to holding hands with girls. I don't think my heart can take it.

the leaves are changing...why not the temps?

by teresa


I want it to be cold.
Not freezing cold...but at least chilly.
I want to wear a sweater and jeans and even my stripped scarf.
I want my hair to stay smooth and not frizz from the humidity.
I want to wear colorful socks and broken in loafers.
I want beef stew cookin' in the crockpot and pumpkin muffins baking in the oven.
I want fall weather!

get up and get moving

by teresa
Today is NFL Play 60 day at Ben's school. The halls are covered with posters and the teachers have been promoting it. They want the kids to pledge to play outside 60 minutes everyday. It's a neat program to encourage the kids to get off the couch and moving.
All the students and staff are to wear football jerzies and during gym classes they are playing games.
Ben was excited to wear his ODU jersey and Kristian came over this morning and borrowed his VaTech one.

Ben and Joe before school.

shhhhh....go back to sleep

by teresa

I woke up at 2:53 and thought my alarm was about to go off.
When I saw that I could sleep for 4 more hours, I actually squealed with glee.
I wonder if Chris heard me and thought I was dreaming about him?

vin

and baby makes 9

by teresa

Katy had her baby this morning.
She called and told me he came a little after 4:00am, pretty much just popping out like Maya. I'm glad it was an easy delivery (I'm not saying painless....just uncomplicated).
He weighs 7lbs 13oz and is 20 1/2 inches long (same as Maya when she was born).
I will try and get up there today to snap a pic. and rub that new baby smell all over my face.
They should bottle that smell....it's heavenly.

It sounds like the plot of one of those Davey and Goliath cartoons

by teresa

A full two weeks of school under our belts.

So far so good. The boys love their teachers and have good friends.

Ben's friend Sterling (from soccer team...they shared a b-day party this year) has been having trouble figuring out his locker combination. This is the first year of lockers and Ben loves it. Ben had his combination memorized weeks before school began. Practicing it over and over in his room. Ben found Sterl at his locker long after school had ended. He was frustrated and anxious...trying to open his lock. Ben, the lock master, went to his aid. After Sterl told him his combination, he easily opened it for him. Sterling was so happy and Ben showed him over and over how to do it. The next day he sought Ben out for help after school again. The poor kid just can't get the whole "right, then left a full turn past the first number, then right again.

I praised Ben for helping his friend yet again.

That is until yesterday. Chris, the boy we give a ride to in the afternoon told me a little story. Apparently, Ben went to school this week and straight to Sterling's locker. Having been told Sterling's combination, he undid his lock and turned it around the wrong way and then relocked it. The next day the boys got a giggle watching Sterling struggle on the ground, head flipped around trying to look at the back of his lock to enter the combination.

With friends like that....

Ben and Sterling at their 11th birthday party.

This tape will self-destruct in five seconds

by teresa

I bought new fire extinguishers yesterday.
One for the kitchen and one for upstairs. I also bought one for Lauren, which I will give her if she shows her face around here again. Apparently we are good for tuition, car payment, insurance and a phone...but not a hug. Just sayin'.

This weekend is going to be a busy one. Soccer practice and high school football game tonight, flag football, ODU football and book club tomorrow, church and travel soccer game on Sunday. Not to mention the umpteen college and NFL games on that we look forward to viewing. It will be Green Family Circus in full effect.
I love it!

Katy just called while I was typing. There is a feminine emergency going down that I must attend to. Kristian's Aunt Flow came early. There's only one pad in the house and she's about to get on the bus. You see the problem.
It has been a long time since I bought any such thing (10 yrs.) so I needed lots of details to steer me toward the correct product.

Here are the notes I jotted down during our phone call:
Tampax or Playtex...not sure
green box (crossed out)
green bag
regular length
thin
wings

I am off to take the boys to school and fulfill my menstrual mission. At which time I will take it to school and in a Mission Impossiblesque way get them to Kristian with no one the wiser. There may be cables lowering me from the ceiling, disguises, decoys and knockout gas. I'm a mom....and I get the job done anyway I can.
Wish me luck.

just what I need...more books.

by teresa

Smoothies for breakfast.
Banana, strawberry, pineapple and orange juice.
Not only is it a nutritious way to start the day, but the noise the blender makes also serves as an alarm clock. Toss in a cup of ice and it will even wake the neighbors.

Ben's librarian called yesterday. Apparently she found out that Mrs. Green (aka. library slave) has returned to the middle school. When Nick went to that school her and I were inseparable and I think she intends us to become bff's once again. She called to ask my opinion (and help) for a book fair she is planning. I will gladly do it for access to the books (I get my own library card...some of the best books I have ever read were kid lit.) and for a chance to spy on Ben and Kristian.

gets it.

by teresa

Sitting a few cars behind a handicap bus yesterday morning.
Not gonna lie....I was irritated as heck.
We were running at a late departure due to one of my morning riders sleeping late (I take Ben, Nick and two of Ben's friends to school each morning).
The bus was loading a girl in a wheelchair. It took for-ev-eeeeerrrr to get her in.
Then the bus driver stops to chat it up with the mom in her driveway.
By now, there are about twenty drivers behind me. Everyones cars are inching closer to each other, patience wearing thin, gritting our teeth and trying to find that happy place (there's not much room in my car for a happy place with four boys, four overloaded book bags, a trumpet, two sax's and a clarinet). I was flipping to K-LOVE, trying to find a little MercyMe to get my spirit moving in a better direction. The driver climbs aboard and her STOP sign retracts. phew. Wait...she's still not moving. Another minute ticks by. I can see her inside the bus, milling about. She must be securing the girl or something. Then the car behind her gets fed up and pulls around her. On the two lane road we're sitting on, that is a very dangerous move. He had no idea what was coming from the other side. The driver notices and rushes to her seat. Just as she's pulling off, the black truck in front of me starts to pull around her too. Now she's moving and he's moving beside her and there's a car racing toward him coming from the other direction. Me and the kids are like,"OH CRUD!!" The black truck whips in front of the bus and the bus has to slam on her brakes to avoid a collision. Not cool.
We turn the corner and head toward Nick's school, still talking about the mornings happenings. About 1/4 mile down the road, while passing through one of three school zones we drive through every morning, we see a police car flip his lights on. We look over to see who the contestant of the day is (this guy pulls someone every single morning). It's the black truck! We all scream, "HOORAY!!" He may have experienced a brief victory after passing that bus, but he found the ultimate defeat getting a speeding ticket in a school zone. hahahahahahaha

Comeuppance: A deserved rebuke or penalty.

Embarrassment is an emotional state experienced upon having a socially unacceptable act or condition witnessed by or revealed to others.

by teresa

As I am sitting in my car, waiting for Ben's school to let out, a car pulls up next to me.
The driver parks and exits the car, heading toward the front doors of the school.
I glance up from my book and gasp, knowing some poor child is about to die from embarrassment in the next five minutes. This lady is entering the school dressed in pajama pants (with a hole in the left cheek...thong), a white strappy tank top (see-thru and toddler size), hot pink bra (with the ripped elastic hanging under one arm), hair pulled up in a rats nest bun on the top of her head and bare foot.
Can you imagine the child's horror when they walk around the corner and find mom waiting dressed like that? Although, it would be a good punishment. Maybe that kid got in trouble at school or ate his mom's pepperidge farm cookies (that's a punishable offense in my house)? I should put together a similar outfit for the next time Nick "forgets" he had homework or Ben gets a note home saying he is a bit too "chatty" in class. Then I will stroll into school donning said outfit and walk up to them and their friends and demand a kiss. I think it would be much more effective than restriction. Don't you?

how to wake your children for school on a Monday morning.....make bacon. It's more effective than an alarm clock

by teresa

The weekend flew by.
We watched tons of college football on Saturday and NFL games on Sunday.
In the middle Chris coached a flag football game and Ben played two soccer games.
His team made their travel league debut Sunday afternoon. They won 4 to 2, but I didn't get any pictures. It was raining most of the game, so I wasn't about to take my precious camera out.

Today I will clean my closet and bring my fall clothes out of the rubbermaid containers. I know it's still in the 80's, but the evenings have been chilly and I am so eager to toss on a jacket or sweatshirt. I love fall fashion!

three years

by teresa

His hands were freckled and stocky and covered in cuts from fixing things.
I see people with his hands and I want to tell them..."you have my daddy's hands."

Three years and we still say, "put that in grandaddy's garage."
I still ask, "can I borrow daddy's truck?"
I tell people,"my parents live next door."
My parents.

I miss you daddy.
love, your teresa jean

*he used to sing this song to my mom*

*cough* *cough*

by teresa

Another school morning.
The smell of Axe and toast in the air (enough to fill your lungs and erase a year off your life).
But at least there is no b.o.
I tried to counter it with a thorough Fabreezing of the entire house to no avail.

I wish I had thought of it first....a spray to cover boy funk. We would be filthy (haha) rich.

That's why we had her when were so young....so she could take over any parenting jobs we don't care for

by teresa

Monday, (Labor Day) sissy took Ben and Kristian to Kings Dominion.
We had received 4 comp. tickets and gladly turned them over to Lauren, since Chris and I have long outgrown roller coasters.
She picked them up late (almost midnight) Sunday night after she got off work, so they could spend the night and leave early the next morning.
They were asleep on the living room floor by the time she arrived, but came to quickly with the stench of an Olive Garden kitchen in the room. It's like being covered in a thousand bread sticks, a pot of alfredo and 50 meatballs. p-u.
The three of them had a blast (Lauren's friend Jasmine went too) and came home late Monday night. I am glad they got to go out of summer with a bang.
Don't feel bad for Nick or Kai.....they wouldn't have gone if you paid for the tickets, a 24 hour buffet and a limo ride to the park. Rides are so NOT their thing.

sign here please

by teresa

We had a record high number of school papers to sign last night ( I say we....but you and me both know it was ME).
My child won't bully, I've read over the grading scale, you have permission to take my child's photo, cheating will be punished, my child is required to do homework, reading is encouraged, proper gym uniforms are required, etc. It's ridiculous that you would have to sign something stating your child will not molest another student during school hours.
Ben, Nick and I sat on the couch, papers spread from here to there, getting all this stuff signed. I pulled out my good pen from the office (cause my handwriting needs to be better than all the other parents handwriting) to get this done. I handed it over to Ben to get his signature on a few things. When repacking the book bags and cleaning up I noticed the cap to my good pen was not on. I fussed at Ben for losing it and tore up the living room trying to find it. Dang irresponsible kids....can't let them touch anything.

Later, when changing for bed I found the pen cap in my bra.
We won't tell Ben that...will we?

I'm baaaaack

by teresa

First day of school here in Virginia.
Another summer come and gone.
Lots of sun, swimming and soccer.
Also, plenty of "I'm bored.", "I hate him!" and "who spilled that?".
I have been up for hours (usually the boys and I don't roll out of bed before 9:00am). Made beds, emptied the dishwasher and finished the laundry.
And guess what?
The house will stay that way for seven hours.
PTL for education!