Who's Money?

By Chris
Well, Teresa cashed Lauren's first paycheck for her, which started an interested conversation . . . which will continue.

When Lauren discovered her check had been converted to cash (something Lauren had not figured out how to do), she was very anxious to get the money. Of course, I had different ideas . . . the kind of ideas that make teenagers think parents are, well, obstacles. First, we would take $50 off the top. Money she had spent promising to pay us when she cashed her check. She couldn't believe the little eating out here and trinkets there added up to $5o so quickly. A good lesson. But, I also told her that she wasn't just going to have access to hundreds of dollars at a time, even if she did earn it. She looked at me like I was crazy . . . and said as much too. "We're going to have to know what your planning to spend your money on," I explained. "I know how to manage my money," she declared. I laughed at her. "You didn't even know how to turn that piece of paper into cash!" She didn't get it, and left pretty irritated with me. Of course, as I am apt to do, I exaggerated the point a bit: I told her at her age, her money is my money. That was a little strong. What I meant to say is:

Even a little bit of wisdom will show you that money is a potentially dangerous thing. A good parent wouldn't expose their children to dangers on purpose, would they? Yet, we dismiss money training too often and easily, I think. As much as you need training driving a car, you need training even more in dealing with money. The proven dangers of money? It's been known to breed addictions, cause divorces and broken families (my pet peeve), blur judgement and generally cause trouble. Unhealthy management of money is habitual, according to everything I can find on the topic (as is healthy management of money). Poor management of money has even been proven to be a generational curse on some families. Have you ever seen someone with an unhealthy emotional approach to spending and saving? It has literally devastating effects sometimes, leading to unhealthy dependencies that mess up orderly Spiritual and human relationships. All started with bad habits. So, yes, I am going to be very hands-on with my kids' money, even when they earn it . . . especially as teenagers. Now is the time to make sure Lauren has healthy habits and pereceptions with money. She's already started pretty well: by having a job, her brain will soon make the connection between work and money. I think if you give kids money incessantly (or the things money provides), they don't make that link between work and money. We've seen those adults who never made that link, right? Now, she has to learn how to "have" money. To become a steward of a blessing. It's hard. And, she needs our help. Hands on help, at first. That's what I was trying to tell her. We'll have to teach her that she doesn't really "know how to manage her money" until she understands:

• Tithing and saving (10 - and - 10 rule)
• Emotional spending
• Time Value of Money (since time is actually worth more than amount in the money world, the sooner you learn it the better off you will be). The whole banking and financing industry is built on this, and it works for individuals too.

Cha - ching.