Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Questions and comments heard in the Green house this week

By Teresa

I think this is re re week on Wheel of Fortune.

I always powder up before I go out.

Mom, when I was little, did you and dad think I was retarded?

How much did you get paid to help them move?
Great, you can add that to what you get for Christmas and get something cool.
Ummm, what? You don't have any money do you?
I got that $ two hours ago. I bought an electric drum set on the way home.

He liked your pumpkin fluff so much, I bet he talks about it from the pulpit .

Why do we even have to go to school, when we can ask google for anything we need to know?

Their lucky I was on Dramamine, or I would have killed them.

Middle schoolers are horrible, evil beasts

Why do you call it "laying across the bed?". Why can't you just admit that you are taking a nap?

I can't believe you are just sitting in the garage, playing on your iPad.
I was hiding from the kids.

Will you pull the gray hair off the top of my head, is sticking out?
*Husband pulls.*
It's still there!  I said pull the gray hair out!
Dude, if I pull out all the gray hair that's sticking out on the top of your head, you would be bald!

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

gobble gobble

by teresa

Had a great Thanksgiving last week. We all went over to Katy's and ate until we were no longer able to blink. We chilled for a few hours on her new ginormous couch and played family fued against each other on all the ipads.

Monday, November 21, 2011

O' Christmas tree, O' Christmas tree

By Teresa

I Put our tree up today. Ben will be so pleased when he gets home from school. I bought him a couple boxes of red lights at the thrift store this weekend and he wrapped the "family tree" with them, to look like a big candy cane. So cute. He is trying to talk me into putting some candles in the window, like mom has.
I am picking up Nick early from school today. We have his appointment with the court to get his permanent drivers license. He was happy to be getting out of school early. Especially since this week they only go for two and a half days because of thanksgiving.
This time of year, it is so wonderful to be a kid.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Just wear the dang thing

By Teresa

Had to run to ODU today and return the jacket I got for chris for our anniversary.
It was the right size and color and style (he had gushed over it on a previous visit). The reason for it's return was that his BFF showed up to the basketball game in the same jacket.
"we can NOT have the same's just not cool."
It's an ODU game....everybody there is wearing ODU apparel.
Hopefully the sweatshirt I swapped it out for is not being worn by anyone on their side of the arena.
I wouldn't want my baby to feel uncool.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Is that a coupon binder in your lap or are you happy to see me?

By Teresa

Woke Chris up by poking him with my binder.
No, this is not a euphemism for "hanky panky".
I think I have a serious couponing problem.

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Feed me country ham and biscuits, and I'm putty in your hands.

By Teresa

Apparently Ben was chatting with our neighbor and she told him about a sale on christmas decorations at Big Lots (I hate that smells like b.o.) and Ollies (this store looks like a giant garage sale, in a trailer park). In a moment of weakness (he cooked me breakfast) I agreed to take him around and check out the deals. I wonder what kind of beautiful (said sarcastically through gritted teeth) things we will bring back to adorn our home.

Saturday, November 05, 2011

It's beginning to look a lot like November?

By Teresa

Since my sister put up her tree and decorations the day after Halloween (yes...Halloween), Ben has been antsy to do ours too. I held him off till today. He has the yard looking like an explosion of lights, plastic and garland. He even did moms yard. I caught him dragging in my tree box and indoor decorations, and made him put them right back in the garage. I refuse to put my tree up when it's still flip flop and Capri pant weather. Maybe after veterans day.

Tuesday, November 01, 2011

Yep, I skipped October...what's it to you?

Facebook has killed my will to blog.
When every thought and feeling can put out there for all to comment on so easily, it takes the fun out of story writing.
I will try harder, since the purpose of this blog is documenting our family life.

FYI. We did get a new bed after two weeks of camping on the floor.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Maybe I'll move the hammock inside

by teresa

When we got our windows replaced last week I had to do some prep work. Take down all blinds and curtains and move all furniture 3 feet from any window. Pretty easy for most of the house, but in our bedroom this was difficult. We had an old water bed frame that we had put a california king sized mattress in years ago. This huge frame/headboard construction was a monster and weighed a gillion (more or less) pounds and took up most of our room. So, no moving it. I had to take it apart, to get it away from the window. Then I threw the pieces out of the window (and took them to the curb for trash pick up). Not part of our original plan, but I couldn't stand that big, ugly monster anymore. I want a queen size bed, that can be moved without a crane and will actually give me room to walk around my room (not side ways, with my stomach held in). Now the problem with this is, I am too cheap to walk in a mattress store and buy a new mattress and bed. So we have been "camping" in our room for a week. I have been looking on craigslist, ebay, etc. for the perfect deal. I did keep the old mattress...but it is laying on the floor and pretty hard to pop out of, for this 40 year old lady.
The same day I also got bee in my bonnet about our huge tv downstairs. It's one of those 50 inch things, with a body that is as tall as me and weighs about as much as that bed did. It too, took up a quarter of our living room. We purchased it years ago, before the slim, lightweight, flat screens came out. So I moved it out and put a tv from another room in its place. A 30 something inch that Chris claims is too teeny tiny for his old man eyes.
He said, "Woman! You ain't right! You got rid of a mans bed and tv at the same time! Are you crazy?!"

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Protect the kicker!

By Teresa

Made it through the first week of school with no hiccups.
Homework is being done each night, with little urging and a paper was even written without having to fuss or threaten. Nice.
Ben is enjoying football tryouts and we should know by the end of the week if he made the team. What position are they training him at, you ask? Why, kicker...of course. Once a soccer player, always a soccer player.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Miss you daddy

By Teresa

I can't believe its been four years since I last saw you.
We still talk about you all the time.
The other day I said,"the house next door, is my parents house", when talking to someone. My parents.
We were looking through old videos last week and we found one of a church dinner.
The whole family was in the family life center and you walked in. We got excited to see you and when I turned the camera your way and said,"I love you daddy", you stuck your tongue out at me. Your signature move in most videos and photos. Mom and I both laughed so hard. We also found a picture of you in and old camera of Georges'. It was a group shot of all of us, in my front yard. He was taking it and sending it off to Jackie, who was out of the country on a mission trip. It was the best surprise ever...seriously. You were smiling. It was taken a couple weeks before you died.

Wednesday, September 07, 2011

If Ben plays football, I think Chris' heart may burst from excitement

by teresa
Tomorrow, Nick starts his new part time job. He will be working at the Virginia Opera, in their coffee/concession shop. Training begins tomorrow night. It's for a few months, during the opera season. Should be fun and help out with his gas and running around money. Still on the lookout for something steady though.

Chris took Ben for a sports physical after school today. Ben is entertaining the idea of trying out for the school football team. It would be weird seeing him on the field in football gear and not soccer. But, I think it's cool he is wanting to try new things. I will post more details once tryouts are over.

Tuesday, September 06, 2011

first day of school

by teresa

We had an uneventful morning.

Clouds of axe and globs of hair gel filled the house.

Both Nick and Ben had their outfits chosen days ago and Nick even organized all his clothes last night. His room is perfect...I wonder how long that will last. They both opted for poptarts this morning (I let them chose anything) and only took a couple bites. I guess they were both anxious about getting back in the swing of things. Ben packed a lunch and Nick decided to buy. It seems bagging a lunch in the 11th grade is not very cool. Nick drove sissy's car (they have been sharing for the past month) to school. He will do this every now and then, but I will drive him most days. That is until he gets a job, then the plan is that he will get Chris' car and Chris will buy a new one. But he has to get a Jay Oh Bee first. I bet seeing his friends coming and going in their own cars will light a fire under his butt to get one. We will see.

After I dropped the boys off I picked up my free Chic-fil-a biscuit (a store promotion) and headed to Katy's to have a little sissy time, kid free. Well, not actually kid free...6 kids were at school, but there were still 7 kids there. I am home now, reveling in the quiet and cleanliness. School is a true blessing for a mothers sanity.

Monday, September 05, 2011

Summer 2011 collage

squeezing out the last drops of summer

by teresa

The boys were up really late last night. I was planning on making them go to bed at a reasonable time, so they don't go into shock tomorrow morning at 7:00am, but I didn't have the heart to put a stop to their fun. Plus, they were actually in the same room, on the same bed, at the same time (with no threats of bodily harm). Them and about 4 other kids from the church youth group were playing xbox together. And if that's not neat enough (playing the same video game from 3 different cities) they also had all their laptops open and webcams going. So they were watching each other play and talking through the kinect and webcams. When I walked in it was as if all the kids were in the same room. Technology sure makes being a kid easy.
Today, we will relax (as I type this Chris is mowing the yard....not very relaxing) and enjoy this last day of no homework, no alarm clock and no frenzied comings and goings.

Sunday, September 04, 2011

lets get together for some burgers and hugs

by teresa

Allen family cookout this afternoon at Uncle Timmy's and Aunt Esther's. Can't wait to see all my cousins and their families. I remember playing with them at our Nanny's house and now we have our own children and grandchildren. Time marches on, and sometimes I feel like it marches right across my face (love that line from Steel Magnolias).
Really missing my dad today. His side of the family is a hoot, but it's just not the same without him. I blew off the family reunion four years ago. Didn't feel like driving out to Franklin to see everyone. Then my dad died a few weeks later. I missed out on that fun time with him and mom and my aunts and uncles. I will never miss a get together again, if at all possible. Family is too important and you have to show them what they mean to you.

Two more days till school starts

by teresa

I survived another summer!

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Questions and comments heard in the Green house

By Teresa

Is there more dogs or humans in the world?

That made my butt burn!

I drank so much at dinner, my pee was snow white.

Do you think Aristotle's friends called him Ari for short?

At least now when you go bald, you know you will look ok.

Bald makes you look tough.
Like a marine?
Yes dear, like a marine.

So, because I farted, now I have to sleep in Bens room?

When the fireworks went off, shorty bit me.

It's an explosion of skeegy.

What did you do while the kids were gone last night?
I sat in the dark, alone. No tv, no iPad.
It was the perfect evening.

Tuesday, July 05, 2011

dang! I was having the best dream!

by teresa

It doesn't take long to get used to sleeping in.
Nick has 3 mornings of drivers class starting today.
School has only been out for 2 weeks, but when that alarm went off this morning I could hardly open my eyes. 6:50 might have well been 3:00am to my body.
I am a spoiled women...I know.

Friday, July 01, 2011

Too weird not to post

By Teresa

I am up late, long after the family went to bed.
Sitting in "my chair", reading and listening to Shorty snore.
I bunnied...loudly (don't worry...shorty doesn't mind).
The computer (which has been on sleep mode for hours) cuts on.
I knew it was a big one, but I didn't know my own strength.

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

oh where is my hairbrush?

by teresa

The dog stunk. Bad.
It's been hot and although the majority of his days are spent on his throne (an over sized ottoman) he does go outside and in doing so he smells like a hot, dog. You know what that smells like, right? Worse than teen b.o. and cleat sweat put together.
I was pleasantly surprised the other afternoon, when I woke from my Sunday nap and Ben told me he had bathed the dog. His actual words were, "me and Shorty took a shower". And he had, with the dog, in his bathing suit (Ben...not the dog).
I was so happy. The dog smelled great. Ben told me he had used my head and shoulders shampoo, "so Shorty will not have any dandruff." Not that he had before, but it was a nice thought. And I was hardly irritated when I went downstairs and found he had used my new towel set to dry the dog. Or that my bathroom rug felt like it had been through a monsoon. Not even when I had to get on my hands and knees and clean the shower drain free of a hairball the size of a guinea pig. It's all good. My kid helped without being asked. Makes a momma proud. That is until I got out of the shower the next morning and grabbed my hairbrush. My new hair brush, that makes my hair do that perfect smooth ,flippy behind my ears thing (without being too poofy or frizzy) no other brush I have ever owned has done. The hairbrush that now has old, wet dog hair matted into the bristles. Yes, he groomed the dog with my hairbrush. Would it be wierd to put a kid on restriction for doing chores?

Questions and comments heard in the green house

By Teresa

I hope your car is really messed up.

Where did you hide the candy bars?!?!

If you can cut all the hair off the back of your head without consulting me, I can shave my head without asking you.

How do you like my hair?

You know I do not bend over in the daytime.

Theodore Roosevelt was just staring at me in the mddle of the night.

I was more confused than a cow on AstroTurf.

When I'm out of town in a hotel, it's like being at home.  I leave the rooms messy, come back and its all clean again.

You can't say thirty quietly.  Go ahead, try.
See, you were loud.

Nut up or shut up.

Monday, June 27, 2011

Laugh and the world laughs with you

By Teresa

Picked up my rental car today,
Teenager not paying attention in school parking lot...bam...hence rental car.
Anyway, I picked it up and Ryan (the enterprise man) did the once over before handing me the keys.
Smudge on side door...check.
Scratch on hood...check.
Cigarette burn on rear seat...check.
Then we were off. Ben was thrilled (the kid is seriously insane about cars) and had it programmed to Sirius satellite radio and synced the Bluetooth to my phone before we even got home. He spent the next few hours in the car, in the driveway calling people by yelling out, "CALL. ....". I even got a text from Chris, who is in Richmond, wanting to know if everything is okay. He was in a meeting and kept getting calls from my number. Lol.
Later, after Ben's insistence that we pleeeease go somewhere, we went to dinner with my mother. While driving home, he was pointing out things about the car to her. Then he said, "nanny, look at this cigarette butt hole in the seat". At which I busted out laughing so hard I actually couldn't see while driving for about 30 seconds...cause my son said butt hole...get it? Hahahahaaha
Ben's response to my guffawing was..."real mature mom!". Which made me laugh even harder, cause my 12yr old had to call me out for laughing at butt hole. Great parenting moment.

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Stealing from a poor widower...I feel so ashamed

By Teresa

I got home from running errands today. Mom heard me pull up and met me in the driveway. "I did a bad thing", she said.
"I made a cake for Roger (man across the street, whose wife died two days ago) and I cut it and ate a piece instead of giving it to him". Then she told me she had cut it in half and slipped it in my kitchen while I was gone.
And I ate some I'm an accomplice.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Questions and comments heard in the Green house this week

Hey mom, am I circumcised?

(overheard by mom) hey dad, was mom smart when she was in school?

I am scared to ride with him!!! So why did you make me get in the car!??! I don't make you sit in a room full of clowns!

Put on some Simon and Garfunkle.
Simon and Garfunkle.
Oh... I thought you cussed.

You can't study math, u either know it or you don't.
Nice get upstairs and study now!

Lookout!! That corvette is speeding and whipping around the cars. You know he has a small penis, right?

What are u saying to yourself to make your eyebrows move?

What's your favorite food?

Some women call there vaginas pocketbooks.
Well that makes sense. When some women open them up, they get money.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

I go nuts for doughnuts

by teresa

Just wanted to express my joy at waking on Mothers Day morning to find hot, fresh Krispy Kreme doughnuts waiting for me. Chris and Ben snuck out and bought me some, knowing they are my favorite things in the whole world.
Apparently the love of sugar circles runs in the family. Saturday, mom brought some to the soccer field to share and Kaden freaked out on us all when she was not allowed the last one (it was saved for someone else and she had already had two). She stomped, grabbed, kicked and scratched as we held the box out of her reach. Mom had to lock it in the car to keep her off it. Then her dad glanced up from coaching and saw what had happened. He took her aside and gave her "a talk". She slowly made her way over to mom and me. Face to the ground, frown on the face. Once she reached us she said quietly, "sorry". I hugged her and said, "I know sweetie...sometimes doughnuts make you go nuts...huh?" She smiled and agreed whole heartedly. Then ran off with a smile.
I bet the same thing would have happened on Mothers Day, if I was in the same situation. Fortunately for Chris, he bought TWO dozen. One for the family and one for ME!

Tuesday, May 03, 2011

nothing says I love you like a bowl of cream of wheat

Happy 16th Birthday to our son Nick. We had planned to wake up early and take him to Shoneys breakfast buffet before school. He turned us down and said all he would want for his birthday breakfast was his Nanny Allen's cream of wheat. This stuff is legendary in our family. Creamy, hot and sweeter than a birthday cake! I called mom when he hopped in the shower so she could prepare it and bring it over at the perfect time (one of a trillion benefits of living next door to her). We are not having his big fiesta till Thursday (dad is out of town) so mom and I sang to him and she put a candle in his bowl. That stuff was thick enough to hold that candle in place till I found and set up my camera. Love it! Also, he couldn't finish the whole happy birthday to me too!

Monday, May 02, 2011

As the world turns

By Teresa

The last month has been a blur.
Seriously....where did April go?
I had a few weeks to recover from surgery and then me and the Parkway ladies jumped right into Easter egg production.
Three weeks of orders, sugar and icing. Long days at church made for incredible nights of sleep, where my head barely touched the pillow and I was off in dreamland.
It is a week out from Easter and I have caught back up on laundry, cooking and family time.
Easter was so wonderful. Church with the family and then home to relax and enjoy a cookout in our backyard. The weather couldn't have been better. We did miss Sissy and Neal, but they had to work. They did stop by the next day for leftovers and of course their peanut butter eggs with their names on it.
The biggest news around here, by far, is my dads truck. Rising gas prices and repairs led to my mom having to sell it. I know it was hard for her to let it go (she admitted she cried at the dealership) but it was the smart and practical thing to do. She bought a cute, blue, new Honda civic. She looks so right in it and I know my dad would be happy that she did something good for herself.
I will post pictures of some of the highlights of the month later in the week. Right now I am heading to bed to get ready for some hardcore spoiling and pampering tomorrow. Why? Tomorrow is our Nickys 16th birthday! And I want to make it as special for him as he is to us.

Best lines of the month:
It's weird looking out the window and not seeing dad in the driveway.
It ain't Easter if I don't have my peanut butter egg!
Oooo made mom mad. She's giving you the skank eye. (it's not skank eye's stank eye!)
It's been a month since they took your ovary and you haven't been grumpy at all. I was really scared about that.
Kaden told me I had strawberry diarrhea.

Tuesday, April 05, 2011

march madness

by teresa The 2011 NCAA championship has come and gone. We filled out the brackets and cheered on our teams. It's been a fun thing to do as a family. Even more fun since....I WON! I had UConn winning the whole thing and they did. The funny thing is, I don't even like UConn. They are cocky, and I don't like that. But they win. They played so well in their conference tournament that I felt they could ride it all the way. Also, I like their uniforms.

Monday, April 04, 2011

Questions and comments heard in the Green house this week

by teresa

Oh dang, I accidentally bought pantyhose socks again.

That man ain't right, he's going to be in the nervous hospital soon.

I am very cool...who wouldn't want to hang out with me?

When you haven't pooped, can't poop and then do poop, it is a very exciting thing.

Dad said he likes it when you sleep in my bed cause then he can listen to the radio all night.

I guess all the wet got used up earlier.

I'm not trying to have somebody break a shin!

He's gone, let's move so he doesn't know where we live.

Nick, don't put your feet in the drink.

I didn't get a birthday this year. I turned 40 and I didn't even get birds in the yard.

*argue* *slam* *screaming*stomping* *pushing* *glaring* *threats* *tattling* (Mom and dad finally intervene) "What did he do?" (Kid) "He wrote on my calendar!" (Mom and dad) "Seriously????"

The dog has been teasing me all day.

Your stupid pantyhose socks are stuck to everything in the dryer!

Saturday, April 02, 2011

texting conversation between sisters

by teresa

sent:Is Kristian going to youth group? Did u c the blog? *

received:I'm not sure if she is, she is with Keith this weekend. And, no I havnt read the blog yet. I will when I get home. *

sent: Where U B?

received: We are at glory's bakery? You jealous? (yes, I was) *

sent: get me some pepperoni bread, woman! with a lumpia chaser! *

received:haha...we are getting dessert before going out to eat with mike's family. *

sent: And? That has to do with my request how? lol *

received: Don't's on the way

sent: I'm at soccer practice. Eeeeeeeeeeee! Put it in moms fridge so I don't have to share. hee hee thanks! *

received: April fools *

sent: Uuuuuuuuuu suuuuuuckkk!!!! *

received: just kidding, I will put it in moms fridge. *

sent: I don't believe you *

received: I promise on alllllll my kids (good Lord there's a lot of them too) *

sent: That's not good you swear on the life of Dog the Bounty Hunter? (Katy's favorite show) *

received: Yes....I solemnly swear. *

sent: solemnly swear huh? If you are using Harry Potter terms I know u must b telling the truth! *

received: u can "Avada Kadavra" me if I'm lying! (It's the killing curse...very serious)

Friday, April 01, 2011

the runt

by teresa

Today Vin had his 6 month check up.

He is 13 pounds 14 ounces. Pretty small compared to all the other babies in our family. I guess he's the runt of the litter, like Babe. Hopefully he too will grow up strong and smart enough to lead a flock of talking sheep into a pen. Or some other really great accomplishment.

Seriously, the dr. said he is in the 5% for weight. Katy has been instructed to feed him. hahahahahaha. I know she already is doing that, but now the doctor said to feed him whenever he makes a peep. *peep* rice cereal *peep* pears *peep* donut (nevermind...that's just for me).

I give it two weeks and that kids gonna be packing on the pounds like the rest of us.

(picture of Vin and his half brother Kingston in the cowboys hats I bought the girls from the thriftstore. It is in black and white so you can't tell the hats are pink!)

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

I even miss his snoring

By Teresa

Today was a good day.
Went all day with no fever. I even felt good enough to do a couple tubs of laundry.
Lauren came over (hadn't seen her in 24 days) and she took Ben out shopping for notebooks and then brought home chicfila.
We all ate and then mom came over and we watched American Idol.
It was so nice to hang out with her and I hope she does it more often.
I am beyond thrilled that Chris will be back in town tomorrow night. We have really missed him around here these past two weeks!

Monday, March 28, 2011

One step forward, two steps back

By Teresa

Not myself today.
Doing everything I can to recoup from surgery, but infection, bruising, bleeding and nausea are making it difficult to improve fast enough to keep up with life and all my commitments.
I don't like this.
It makes me sad.
I burst into tears like an idiot at the doctors this morning.
I felt better after I did though.
I haven't read a book in weeks, I just can't focus.
I wish it was warm outside, I would lounge in the hammock.

Friday, March 25, 2011

Dork or not dork?

By Teresa

You decide?
Things Nick has said to us lately.

"Mom, we should get a bay window, so I could sit in it and think about life."

"There is a lot of trouble in this world...and if you worry, you make it double." "That's a Bob Marley quote...yep that just happened.". Then he walked out of the room leaving Chris and I just staring at each other.

*walks into room where Chris and I are talking...starts playing his ukulele quietly*
"Don't mind me, just keep talking. Im going to play music to go along with what your a soundtrack to a movie."

"I want a Tandem bike for my birthday". "Either that, or a sound board". "Oh yea, or a sock monkey costume".

"Hey mom...don't worry, be happy". Then he proceeded to sing the song over and over for the rest of the weekend until I wanted to move his bed out to the garage. It did NOT make me happy.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

The truth and nothing but the truth, so help you God.

By Teresa

I keep my tweezers in my car. That is where I do my eyebrows because it is the best light and the mirror is literally and inch from my face. No, not while driving. Only in the driveway...and only when the car is parked beside the house. I don't want the neighbors to think I'm a loon. It also keeps the boys from messing with them, which they would do if they were in the house. Previous pairs have been found in toy boxes, under beds and in the backyard. The other day I went outside to have a little pluck time. It was about ten days post surgery and I was finally caring about what I looked like. I climbed in the car and reached for my tweezers (in the pocket inside the door).
They were gone.
I stomped back in the house (well,not stomped...I was still sore. But in my mind I was stomping) and commenced the fussing.
After my ranting all I got was a bunch of "not me's" and "why would we touch your tweezers mom?"
I started doubting myself. Did I put them back last time? Are they in a purse? Maybe they fell under the seat? That is until later that night when i found the remains of my precious tweezers in the corner beside the couch. Comfort grips pulled off and sides bent into a deep V, with no hope of the points ever touching again. When I showed the boys they just stared like deer in headlights. Then Ben was like, "oh yeh...the tweezers. I remember now. I got them out of the car cause I had a splinter. But I did not pull those thingys off the sides!"
We all turned to Nick who grinned like the Cheshire Cat.
I am making a list of chores that they will do to work off payment for my new tweezers (which I will now hide in an undisclosed location). I will also add a few things to the list in payment of my gray hair and c-section scars. Which is only fair after having to sport a unibrow until I was released to drive again and make a trip to walgreens.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

I should play the lotto

By Teresa

March madness has begun.
No, not the search for my lost flip flop...the NCAA basketball tournaments.
Ben had blank brackets printed for each member of the family and busted our chops to fill them out a week before games even began.
Because we refuse to have a foot race with him, he has to find some way to make our lives into a competition.
He checks all the scores constantly, tallying points and giving unsolicited updates on our progress.
With 32 games those first few days, playing on five different networks, he was running in every other hour with different results.
Chris said, he wondered if we would be getting so many updates if Ben wasnt in the lead most of the time?
I filled mine out last, actually the day games began. I was so high on pain meds. that I really had no interest in participating at all..
The games have been going on for two weeks now. From 64 teams to the final 16.
Guess who's winning?
Hahahahaha...that's right....ME!

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Just a little off the top

By Teresa

Last week when I was out of commission, Chris took the boys for their hair cuts.
Over to sports clips, where the girls in referee out fits give them a shampoo and cut. Nick always tries to talk me into splurging for the mvp package so he can get a massage too (to no avail).
I was worried they would come home looking like new recruits, buzzed within an 1/8 of an inch from their scalps.
But dad did me proud. They arrived coiffed and gelled to perfection. Dad loved it, I loved it and most importantly, they loved it.
As a matter of fact, Ben now spends more time in front of the mirror than my sister...which is saying a lot. Lol. Waxing, mussing, brushing...repeat. It's so funny.
Nick loves his new style just as much. He can now where a hat without looking like cousin It in a Yamaka.
Chris pointed out another plus to his haircut. He said Nick's hair was so long and with us looking so much alike, he was afraid one day he was gonna smack Nick on the butt, thinking it was me passing by.
Nick said the funniest thing when I remarked that he finally had side burns.
He said,"I was wanting to grow mutton chops, but with my genes all I can manage is a dirty mexi-stach."

Monday, March 21, 2011

back to life

by teresa

So much going on since my last entry.
Band festival, two soccer tournaments (won both of them), three birthdays (Ben, mom and Chris) and two surgeries for the momma.
Lots of hoo hah and whoopsie doo's in between and a whole lot of crazy that makes up our everyday lives.
Glad to back blogging. Actually glad to be back doing anything. I felt like after my surgery, I have been locked away from the world. In my castle, taken care of by my princes, who filled my room with gold fish, diet coke and vicodin. What more could a girl ask for?
Today I will venture out into the world to seek thrills and folly. Actually I am just heading to the dry cleaners and post office and then back home to nap. But who's to say where adventure lies?
With me, it's always right outside my door.

I will leave you with my favorite conversation of the month.

Me: Eww, I think the dog puked on our bed!
Chris: O, thank goodness. I thought it was you having some kind of sick person stank.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Conversations with a teen

By Teresa

Mom: (pauses tv, hears shuffling around in the fridge). "Nick, what are you doing in there?"


Mom: "Nick...what are you into?"

Nick: "Nothing.". (said in a mouth full, mumbly kind of way)

Mom: "what are you eating?"

Nick: "coke."

Mom: "since when do you have to chew coke?"

Monday, January 24, 2011

can I go to the nurse please?

by teresa

Katy called and needed me to pick up Kai from school today. She had a few too many kids and not enough car seats to make her going up there possible. I ran a few streets over to get him (after changing into something nice, applying makeup and fixing my hair). I could not walk into SRI (my old domain) looking like a shabby housewife who hadn't showered. I got to see all my old friends (secretaries, teachers, security guard and principal) and got lots of hugs, which made my day. I really miss the family atmosphere there. I went back to the nurses office where Kai was laying on a bed, lights down low. She and I walked over to him and asked how he was doing. He said his tummy still hurt. I asked if he had thrown up and he said, "no, but I did have chronic diarrhea". That cracked the nurse and I up. She said had she known it was a chronic situation, she would have called sooner.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Questions and comments heard in the Green house this week

by teresa

There are vultures eating Shorty's bone in the backyard!
I hope you mean the steak bone I gave him.

I don't want to freeze my bahiggy's off.

No wonder these pillows smell like nuts sometimes.

Do you want me to make them feel better?

I got a stupid fever blister cause I don't like my boobs touched by strangers.

You're all up in my crack.

Mom, if you get any shorter they might give you your own show on TLC called "Little Mommas".

Just eat your meat and be happy!

Guess Nook took my nooky.

Put your gloves on and come to bed.

When you take him for his haircut make sure to ask for the non Moe trim.

One minute your Farmvilling and the next your dead.

I like snuggling with a snack bar supervisor.

Honey....did you break the bed?

Thursday, January 13, 2011

I hope I don't get gassy when I'm know how I get when I'm nervous

By Teresa
Going to my first mammogram appointment today.
I'm kinda nervous, as I am doing anything new and unknown.
I even woke up with a fever blister...dang.
I will be so glad when this is over and I can check it off my list.
Chris has been pestering me since September (I turned 40) to get this done.
I wonder if I would have to remind him, if the shoe were on the other foot?

Monday, January 10, 2011

If winning isn't everything, why do they keep score?

by teresa
Sports and kids are and interesting combination.
Sometimes exhilarating, sometimes frustrating and sometimes down right heart attack inducing.
With three kids in our house who have played five different sports (yes, cheering counts as a sport), we have been through a spectrum of emotions. You start out with high hopes of shooting, stealing, scoring, etc. You quickly learn that your kids motivations are much different than yours. They are there for social time and snack time. Before the first whistle even blows they are wanting to know what the after game snack is going to be. I not only have my own children to cheer on, but have had the privilege of watching my oldest nieces and nephew pick flowers in a field (play soccer). This week Kaden (age 5) played her first basketball game. She is built like an athlete, has a daddy for a coach and looks adorable in the uniform. What else do you need? During pregame warm ups she was smiling, participating and waving to us. Once the whistle blew for the game to begin she freaked out. I know it is just about the most frustrating thing for a parent to go through...but for an's hilarious to watch. What? I've been there, done that. Now it's time for me to giggle and point like all those older parents did to me when I was in tears as Nick was grabbing my leg and screaming that I wouldn't go out on the field with him. She did end up out on the court for a few minutes, but never let go of her daddy's leg (yes, he was on the court with her). hahahaha
Oh the joys parenting!

Pic. #1
Daddy Josh and Kaden running out on the court as their team name is announced!
Pic. #2
Kaden looking over at me with a smile, excited for her game.
Pic. #3
Josh getting them lined up, ready for game to begin
Pic. #4
Ben consoling Kaden who was sobbing on the bench after the whistle blew
Pic. #5
Kaden in the game, Josh trying to pry her hands off his pants legs

Friday, January 07, 2011

"It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live, remember that." Albus Dumbledore

by teresa
Last night I babysat for Vin, who is now 3 and 1/2 months. I have not spent as much time with him as my other nieces and nephews, since he doesn't live next door like they did. So I thought this would be a good chance to sit down with him one on one and impart a little aunt wisdom and guidance. I wanted to teach him about love, courage, victory of good over evil, loyalty, sacrifice and selflessness. We had a good chat and in the end, I think he was all the better for it.

Thursday, January 06, 2011

Some folks are wise, and some are otherwise

By Teresa

I did a Really stupid thing the other day. I'm sure it's something I should have known, especially at my age. But alas, forty doesn't necessarily mean your a walking google (answers for every question).
Everyone had left for school and I was cleaning the kitchen. Scraping breakfast bits off dishes and wiping off the counters. I loaded the dishwasher and reached for a cascade gel ball to stick it so I could get the load running and move on to making beds, folding laundry and head to the grocery store. The cascade bag was empty. Crud! I really wanted to get these dishes I reached for my dish soap. Maybe I could just put a bit of a squirt in the little cleaner compartment and it would be good enough? So I did. I set it...and went on to finish my list of to do's. About an hour later I was upstairs putting away clothes in Ben's room when Shorty came upstairs to spy on me (he follows me from room to room most days). I glanced over at him and screamed. He was covered in something. Something white. It was flinging all over the carpet as he shook himself beside me. Omg!!! It was bubbles!
I ran downstairs and found out where he had been bathing....the kitchen. I had stuck his food bowl in front of the dishwasher and that knucklehead dog had stood there chowing down as our maytag spurt out foam all over his head (and the entire floor). Hahahahahahaha
I laughed till my sides hurt while I mopped up the floor and dried off Shortman before anyone came home to find out the dumb thing I had done. I must keep up appearances of perfection at all times. Lol.
I added cascade to my grocery list and pulled out all the dishes and rinsed them thoroughly before reloading the washer to be run after my trip to the store.
Oh well, you live and learn.
On the kitchen floor has never looked so good!

Wednesday, January 05, 2011

he needs his rabies and his "I'm too lazy to walk outside so I will just pee on the floor" shots

by teresa

Taking Shorty to the vet this morning.
I think he knows something up.
I just found him hiding in the shower.
too funny!

Add on:
Shorty did great, although he did freak out and shed most of his fur off on me.
Funny thing happened on the way home. One of those tiny yippy dogs jumped out of the window of the car driving in front of me. The driver flipped out and came to a Dukes of Hazzard stop right on Indian River Road. She leapt out of the still running car and started chasing after the dog. It was insane. I felt bad for her and almost turned around further down the road to stop and help. Then I remembered that this was the same road Chris uses to drive to and from work. And if he drove by and saw me darting in and out of traffic he may just take me to get a rabies shot too.

Saturday, January 01, 2011

Questions and comments heard in the Green house in December

By Teresa

I got a brand new pair of roller-skates you got a brand new key

Go repent for those potatoes!
The devil made me put pumpkin in it

Stop screaming...I can't drive when you're screaming!
We can't help it...we thought we were going to die.

We pulled up to church and the cops were pulling a guy out of the bushes.

How come the two times a year I crave a powdered donut I happen to have on a black shirt?

The cashier at walmart sprayed me with diet coke.

Are you gelling?

Don't hit the old lady!!!

Hey, look at that cloud. Isn't it very pretty and cloudish?

Y'all are not allowed in the bathroom at the same time...bad things happen!

Come on...somebody even ate half the grizzle.

Did she break her face off?

Why am I always black in here?

He's not homeless, he just waited on me at wendys last week.

Just call us the spaghetti bandits.