Friday, October 30, 2009

the hazards of wearing an ipod

by teresa

Chris jokes me because I walk around the house, doing my "thang", listening to my ipod.
He talks to me and I either can't hear him, or I respond back with a shout (not realizing my voice is raised). He also claims to hear little bursts of singing, as I go through the house. I told him that I thought I was singing in my head. He vows to secretly record me sometime to show me how crazy I look.

I took my ipod to school during the book fair. The few times I was alone, I would crank it up and walk around straightening the books. FYI, the song Total Praise (my version is by Donnie McClurkin) makes it impossible for me to focus on anything else. It draws me in and I have to (yes, have to) close my eyes and lift my hands (the lyrics tell me to) and I am completely oblivious to all things around me. *driving is not recommended while listening to this song* That's why I had no idea that a 4th grade class had come in to shop. When the song finally ended (that is a looong song) I opened my eyes and saw twenty five 10 yr olds and a very confused teacher staring at me with concern.
I shoved the ipod in my pocket and told them I was "gettin' my praise on".
They giggled and went to shopping.
I didn't use it the rest of the week.
Wouldn't it have been funny if it was Kristian or Ben's class?

Thursday, October 29, 2009

go team?

by teresa

I bought Ben a LaBron James jersey from the consignment store last month with his back to school clothes.
When his brother asked him what NBA team he was rooting for this season he said, "The Cavaliers." "I have to...cause mom bought me that shirt."
I didn't realize you had to be a fan of the team to wear their apparel.
It was just such a nice shirt, for a great price, that I couldn't pass it up.
Sorry Celtics (Ben's former NBA favorites).

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

warm and fuzzy

by teresa

I am completely in love with my pink polar bear pajamas.
The hubby....not so much.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

conversation with a teenager

by teresa

Cut that radio off 104.5.


Cause the music on there is inappropriate.

No it's not mom....that's a gospel station now.

*both of us quiet down and listen for a moment*

Really? Then why is that guy singing...come ride my pony?

Ummm...he's talking about Jesus....and the pony he rode into Jerusalem.

Nice try change the station now!

Friday, October 23, 2009

what are they teaching these days?

by teresa

Ben was bragging about his knowledge of elements.
"AU is gold, B is boron, HE is helium, O is oxygen".
They just started covering this in science class, but with the way Ben talks (the kid is full of himself) you would think he is a child prodigy in nuecleosynthesis.

Then he said the funniest thing. What made it funny is that he said it with total certainty and authority.

"There is a boy in my class that knows the entire PATRIOTIC TABLE by heart!" *lol*

AU America United?
AM Amber waves of grain?
IN In God we trust?

They didn't teach the patriotic table in the 80's. It must be the new science.

read the shirt

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

who could have forseen this?

by teresa

I hear screaming in the backyard.
I open the door and Ben is on the ground crying (his somebody just chopped off my foot, cry).
Nick is standing ten feet away with a smile on his face.

I motion for Nick to come in immediately.
Separate first....ask questions second. That's my motto.

Nick storms past me and huffs,"we were just plaaay-ing!"

Sniffing, groaning and wailing Ben limps over to me...doing that gasp for breath fake crying thing to get his brother into level four trouble.

Level 1: brother farts on other brother, doesn't flush toilet or steals remote
Level 2: brother takes other brothers ipod, makes "that" face or tells embarrassing sibling story to outsider
Level 3: brother pinches, slaps or helps himself to other brothers money
Level 4: brother *accidentally* pushes other brother down stairs , knocks out teeth or wears dad's socks (this seriously ticks Chris off)

I ask what happened and after the first sentence I realize son #2 is really not as smart as all his stellar report cards have charted.

How did he begin his rant?

"I asked Nick to play dodge ball with me and then...blah blah blah blah"

Well duh!

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

let there be light

by teresa

After Ben jumped in the shower yesterday morning, I went to pick out his clothes (as I do everyday). The light bulb was burned out and it was only 6:45, so I could only see colors. After laying it out on his bed, I came downstairs to make lunches. He came trotting down later and when he came around the corner I busted out laughing.
He had on a blue and red stripped rugby shirt with some green and black camouflage pants.
If he had gone to school like that I would have been so embarrassed.
I had Nick put in a light bulb last night.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

You don't have to brush your teeth - just the ones you want to keep.

by teresa

They're everywhere lately.
Wandering inside Walgreen's, asking for money for a sick child.
Outside Target with a sign reading,"hungry...need help. God Bless."
At the pump, begging for change, enough to get them to the next town.
I give...sometimes. Do they use the cash for needs? Wants? Beer?
Mother Teresa said,"If you can't feed a hundred people...feed one."
I like that. Making a difference...little by little.
My mom is Mother Teresa x 100. The givingest giver of all the givers in Giverland.
A kind, thoughtful, sympathizer. If you see her, ask about the time she gave a homeless man a tuna fish and ketchup sandwich.
The other day she was out and about and saw a man at the traffic light. He was hungry and broke (or so his sign said). She had no cash, but looked around her car quickly before the light turned green. Aha! A box of apple jacks in the backseat! She leaned back, grabbed the box and pulled up to the beggar. Stretching out the window, no doubt with a big smile on her face, she offered the Kellogg's deliciousness. He shook his head and turned her gift down.
She was confused for a minute until he smiled and thanked her. "I have no teeth," he said.
You definitely need teeth to eat applejacks.

Friday, October 16, 2009

anybody got a balloon I can stick these kids in?

by teresa

Woke up this morning to a hot mess in the boys room.
Went to bed last night, the kids were sleeping and the room was perfection.
Eight hours later....trashed.
Apparently, the boys invited friends to a 2am rave while I was in deep REM.
Ten things that were out of place:
10. Lava lamp out of closet...and on (mood lighting)
9. Lightsaber (dork games)
8. Binoculars (note to self...tell neighbors to close blinds at night)
7. Poster off the wall (?)
6. The game Mad Gab out and open
5. Clothes on floor (strip Mad Gab)
4. Hamster cage missing from table
3. Ben in sleeping bag...Nick with blankets from both beds piled around him
2. The smell of garlic (vampires anyone?)
And the number one reason I am installing a surveillance camera in my boys room....
1. Underwear swinging from ceiling fan.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

the show must go on

by teresa

I woke up sick this morning (actually I was up many times in the night).
I got the boys up and ready for school.
Once I get them out the door, I am crawling back to the bathroom and camping out for the day.
MOPS is this morning and I was really looking forward to it.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

plop plop fizz fizz...

by teresa

Tailgating tonight.
Buffalo chicken dip w/ bagel chips
Pigs n blankets.
Meatballs w/chili sauce & grape jelly.
Chili-cheese-rotel dip w/blue corn chips.
Grilled burgers & dogs.


Thursday, October 08, 2009

the days of our lives

by teresa

The "sick" has come to the Green house.
Nick stayed home from school today...he says his body aches.
I know he is really sick too, because I made eggs and bacon for breakfast his morning and he refused to eat. That's the only way to tell if he is faking or not.

Ben went to school with a sore leg. His pencil poke (accident by his bff Anthony) yesterday has his leg a bit bruised and sore. He also has a black hole, which he is convinced is filled with lead. We will keep an eye on it over the next week.

Lauren's car died the other day. She thought it was the battery (and so did Advance Auto).
They put in a new one for her and she was off for another night of friends and fun. Unfortunately, it was not the was the alternator. So her car died and her nanny went to her rescue (we were out and she didn't call us). Mom said it took them six jumps to get home. The thought of this cracks me up. Mom and Kai in the truck, Lauren and two friends in the Ford. SIX JUMPS....on one road. At one point, in the rush of things, the cables touched each other and said Kai jumped out of the car thinking it was going to explode. lol
After a ridiculous quote from our usual repair shop, Lauren enlisted her friend Kwadjo (mechanic and engineer) to put in an alternator she is purchasing from the auto store. I am going to make him something (cake, pie,?) to show our appreciation.

Wednesday, October 07, 2009

no googling

by teresa

Watching the Minnesota Twins game the other night and noticed the C on the baseball cap. What do you think it stands for?

Tuesday, October 06, 2009

get a life.

by teresa

The older you get the less you care about what people think of you.
Someone says something hurtful about you and you laugh. 'Cause what do they know?

I used to be happy being a follower. "Just tell me what to do and I'll do it." I am not content in that roll anymore. I like to lead...make the rules...pull the strings. Who would have thought that from me....the girl who was afraid to leave her house 10 years ago?

Sunday, October 04, 2009

watch your mouth!

by teresa

It's funny to remember all those cute little phrases your kids say when they are little.

Ben would say "sassy assy" when he wanted his pacifier. He also called his blanket..."ear".

His Fisher Price Farm people were called "boo-kas".

He is ten now, so all the baby words have long been learned.

All but one.

Certificate. The boy can't say it correctly to save his life.

And somehow, it is just not as cute when your 5th grader says...


Of course Chris make him say it over and over to annoy me.

Thursday, October 01, 2009

I CAN'T DO IT!!!!!

by teresa

This will boggle your mind.

If you are like me, you will keep trying at least 50 more times to see if you can outsmart your foot...but you can't!

1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles.

2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand.

Your foot will change direction.

I told you so ...And there's nothing you can do about it.

“The best gift you can give is a hug: one size fits all and no one ever minds if you return it”

by teresa

My sister always wants to give you your Christmas present early. She can never wait...excited to see you enjoy your gift.
I always like to wait. Hold out for the big surprise....I never even want a hint.
When I was younger she would tell me all my gifts...brat.
She came over the day before my birthday this week with a gift bag.
"Open your present!", she begged.
I refused and she chased me around the house trying to show it to me.
My birthday was the next day...she couldn't wait one day?
I made her go home so she wouldn't spoil my surprise.
Later that night I went next door for a few minutes.
She brought the bag over to me, obviously excited beyond control for me to see the gift she had chosen. I was in the middle of refusing again when Kaden (my 4yr old niece) walked over to us.
"There's a pwetty bwaclet in that bag for you", she giggled.
OH NO!!!!
The surprise was blown.
I looked at Katy and she looked like she was going to cry.
"Good heavens...give me the dang bag", I said.
It was a pwetty braclet. A very pretty braclet.
The inscription says...Love, Sissy.
I put it on, but Katy looked deflated.
I told her that she get's it.....Kaden is how can she be mad at that?
We all laughed about it....but I guarantee Kaden will now be left out of the loop when it comes to future gift giving.