Father In Law

By Chris

It doesn't seem real. That's what everyone keeps saying. It's the common theme. Jimmy Allen left us yesterday, and it's been busy around here. Neighbors, friends, the church, family, co-workers and many more have expressed their sympathies in all kinds of ways. Some give hugs. Some send plants and flowers. Others send emails with pictures. Even others help with the funeral arrangements. Lots bring all kinds of food and drinks. It's all appreciated by the family, I've noticed. It's good not to feel alone.

I'll sure miss him. Father-in-law \ Son-in-law relationships are interesting. We certainly had our "ups and downs" . . . with many more "ups." I was the first one to take his first daughter on a date. I waited not so patiently for her 16th birthday for that. With an 18-year-old daughter myself now, I understand the tension we had now. For more than a decade, I've also been his next-door neighbor. His watching eye and protecting presence has been there, in a way that I could sort of take for granted. Our family would always run out, leaving our door open, not worrying about a thing. Jimmy kept watch like a hawk on his babies next door. It's no secret that I'm no handyman. With Jimmy next door, it never mattered. Broken door, no problem. Tail light burned out? Jimmy was there. And on and on. You couldn't really ask him to help you. He just had to notice that you needed help, and he was there. He loved to save the day, and Lord knows my day needed saving many times by Jimmy. Really, it was a perfect combination. It wasn't like we talked deep and long. Not very often anyway. He was just present. And, eventually, we "got" each other. He was a strong presence who was more about action than talk. Which suited me just fine. Although, he could talk if you got him going. Always there. Lookin' out. Checkin' up. Settin' stuff straight.

It's weird, but I'll miss the way he got up every morning and hosed off his truck. It was immaculate. All the time. I totally got that about him. We talked more than once about how we didn't get people who had dirty cars with unchanged oil. Ironically, I drove that same truck home and parked it in his spot yesterday. I'm sure I'll never be able to let it get too dirty. I watched that car-washing routine out the window hundreds of times. I'll miss shooting the breeze with him when we both would occassionally skip church: two "heathens" cleaning up our yards, fake-complaining about the crazy, loud grandkids (whom he acted like tweaked his nerves, but really couldn't do without for more than a day or two).

He was a character. I mean that in a good way. I'm talking about the kind of character who makes a good book. Who draws you to a funny television show. One of the central themes of literature: character. A unique iteration of God's human design. Jimmy Allen was a character for the ages. He fought his share of "demons" and won in the end. Tragedy and comedy played out in his life. His story . . .his life . . . wasn't long. Just 55 years. But, it was chocked full of all kinds of experiences, conflicts and complex relationships. His life, his words and his actions could make you mad, happy, laugh, cry and think deeply... almost simultaneously. In the end, we had all kinds of proof that he was ready for his story to end. Too soon, yes. But, ready for eternity nonetheless. Straightt with God, important relationships in tact. In the story of Jimmy Allen, he triumphed in the end. A classic happy ending, that we'll appreciate more once we get over the shock.