Mom, it was so cold in here last night I had to get up and put on a sweatshirt to get warm.
Why do you always sneeze when you're turning a corner?
I can't wear these cause they're pirate pants.
He scared the tampon right out of me! He jumped out from behind the car and screamed. I had to run in the house with my legs closed tight.
He's been Ben-a-fied.
I can rip a phonebook in half.
You can't even rip a post-it note pad in half.
Do you want to arm wrestle?
She blew her nose on that sock.
I only had a half a spinach roll....I swear!
I'm re-gifting that.
She's looking very ghetto fabulous today.
It smells very filipinolicious in here.
Who ate all my lumpia?
I woke up this morning and Lauren had eaten half the plate of cookies I made for the teachers gift. stupid.
Who doesn't like pigs-n-blankets?
I have a friend.
Did you have to chip the kids from their beds this morning?
I like to bite their heads off first before I eat them.