Mom, how did you fix my pants? Sharpie marker.
If it snows tomorrow, do you think we will still have soccer practice?
Toothpaste smoothies don't taste very good.
The pastor said next Sunday is the beginning of a fast. Can I fast homework?
If you give me money for the arcade..I will pay you back when we get home with my target gift card.
It makes a dad proud to hear his son sing a song about fireflies and sock hops.
Woman, you are slippin' around here. There has been no diet coke in the house for 24hrs!
The Taco Bell diet works because whatever you eat just shoots right threw you.
She will be sleeping on a fold out ottoman. Instead of rolling over....she has to swivel in place.
I gave Kai a puzzle for his birthday and he looked as if I gave him a bag of poop.
You don't want to hear your parent referred to as "hot".
Did you notice that I was wearing makeup? Yep, I saw that your eyes weren't as flesh color as they usually are.
Lauren's car smells like Fruit Loops.
I read somewhere that seeing a boob is as beneficial to your heart as running on the treadmill. just sayin'.
Kai, I ordered you gift but it hasn't got here yet. It's some bangs. *side note* Kai got a haircut this past week, which left the front of his hair looking like Kitten on Father Knows Best.