Questions and comments heard in the Green house

I should make a song about boobies.

Hearing Jesus loves you, is always a good thing.
Unless, you are in a Mexican prison.

Getting something out of our freezer is like playing jenga. You touch the wrong box of waffles and it all comes tumbling down.

Honey, come here and tell me if this is a condom?

If I tip my head down, snot pours out.
Well, I was going to ask if you feel frisky, but never mind.

Why do you have to give someone your coupon? Cant you just leave people alone? What do you think you are...a coupon fairy?

The lady in old navy gave me a hug.

Here mom, it's the $25.00 I owe you.
(five minutes later, same kid walks back in room)
Hey mom, can I borrow $5.00? I know you have it.

I'm gonna go call of duty on your booty!

Her eyebrows look like a mulberry bush; you got to go all the way around them to see her face.


Did you powder your thighs?

cannonball!

Beautiful day, today.  The sun is shining and I lost one more pound. 
Got up early to sit outside The White Rabbit, to be first in line for their yearly dollar sale.  All clothes in stock were $1.00, to make room for their fall and winter consignments.  I bought over sixty outfits for Sophia, Kaden and Maya.  Even picked up a couple things for Kristian and Shalee.  You just can't pass up a dress, tags still on, from Nordstrom, for $1.00.  Actually, more than half of my purchases still had the tags on.  I totaled up the pricetags and they came to over $750.00 and I only paide $71.00.  Great savings.
The afternoon was fun.  Katy and Morgan came over with the kids, fourteen of them, to swim and eat lunch by the pool.  I made homemade strawberry froyo and the kids scarfed it quick, before it puddled in our 99 degree temps.
I wish I would have taken a picture of all those kids in the pool.  It was a sight.

Summer cold

Feeling crummy. I have a cold and don't feel like doing much of anything today. Missing Chris, who has been gone this week. Nick ditched me to go off with friends tonight. I tried to get together with Katy, we have both been wanting to see Magic Mike, but she is under the weather also. It's 7:43 and I am going to bed. "I think I see a lot of lawbreakers in this house."

Mommy mojo

So happy to have Nick back home today. He has been gone since Friday, on a camping trip with the CHOP (chesapeake house of prayer) group. With Ben gone too, I was a little out of sorts. As a parent, you have these dreams of a time when your kids are grown and out of the house. You will revel in all the free time and clean counters and quiet. After 24 hours of "freedom" I was over it. Couldn't stand the quiet. No one to check on. No fussing, no whining, no...mommy. Chris and I were sitting, enjoying dinner...and I just started to cry. I'm pretty sure he thinks I'm nuts. It seems I need family "noise" to be...me. Five minutes after Nicks return home, I had a steak dinner prepared for him, his clothes in the wash and had sent him for a shower (teenager+camp out =stank). I had my mojo back! Can't wait for Ben to come home on Saturday, so I can be at full strength.

Best friends since 1999

"For whatever we lose (like a you or a me), it's always ourselves, that we find at the sea." E.E. Cummings

Heading to the beach in the morning with Ben and Kristian. After vbs today, she came over to spend the night. We will leave early enough to get a good parking spot...long before the shoobies show up and lay claim to the beach. I will read (an actual paper book...gasp), people watch and listen to my ipod. Ben and Kristian have informed me that they are renting one of those double bikes to ride down the boardwalk. This cracks me up! It's midnight and I am in bed, reading, facebooking and blogging (Chris is snoring beside me). I can hear the two of them squealing and laughing, like Larry The Cable Guy is putting on a show in Bens room. I think they are making videos with his iPod. I love that they are best friends. The energy produced when the two of them get together could power ten prius' for a month. Oh to be young again. The only problem is, the things you find hilarious at 13 are the things that annoy you the most at 41. Spills on the carpet. Farts (and or burps) at the dinner table. Breaking furniture. Waking your parents at 2:00am to ask where your (insert random object) is. Ben and Nick will be gone all weekend. Ben leaves for an Ocracoke vacation with the Matthews family for a week and Nick is going camping with the youth group till Monday. What in the world will we do in the house, all alone? I get Bens room! Xbox, big screen tv and a bed to myself (did I mention the snoring?). Just kidding (or am I?)

questions and comments heard at the Green house

Do not put boogers on Kristian's door!


The squirrel threw a pinecone at me!


Why were there so many more people in attendance tonight?
Because I was there tonight, that's why.


Of course I have bad gas on the day I was planning to get my hair cut.


Do you realize we are going to be alone all weekend?
Cool. I get Ben's room!


Dang it! The dog tore through the trash can when we were out to dinner! It's all over the kitchen.
Should have let him choke. Next time no extraordinary measures will be taken.


A bird pooped on me today.


Boobs are awesome.

Caviar taste for cheese whiz prices

Went shopping with Lauren today. We traveled to Ghent for some baby duds at the White Rabbit. That place has been my one stop shop for kid clothes, since Lauren was about eight. I was excited to pick out cute girly things and boy, did we hit the mother lode (no pun intended). It was $1 day and we didn't even know it until we arrived. We walked out of there with about $200 worth of designer outfits (gap,gymboree,childrens place, etc.)for Sophie for $42! Love it! One dress had the tags attached from some fancy baby boutique...$55... And we got it for a buck.

put that cookie down and walk away!

Finally lost another two pounds this week.
Plateaus suck!
Work, work, work....and nothing.
I need to see change, even two ounces of a difference to keep motivated.
Yeah, yeah, yeah...I know.  "You are losing fat and gaining muscle", "You are doing this for health, not looks".  Yada yada yada.  I want to SEE smaller numbers.
I literally squealed with glee at the difference on the scale this morning.
Just in time, too.  Cause I was about to get chocolate wasted.

In youth the days are short and the years are long; in old age the years are short and the days long.

I just did a couple laps around the downstairs.  No, not for exercise.  Because I couldn't remember why I had walked into the office and I was trying to retrace my steps, to trigger my memory. It worked, too.  I was going to get my cellphone and text my friend Melanie a question. By the time I got to the office, my mind was a krispy kreme box ten minutes after purchased...empty.  Weird how the mind works (and doesn't work) sometimes. 

Things heard in the Green house

Chris and Scott were in the pool for hours playing with their torpedo.
 Wait...that doesn't sound right.

 I'm so glad you told me about asparagus making your pee smell.
 I thought I was seriously ill for the past few days.

 I can't save him from drowning...but if he chokes on something, I'm your man.

 Don't think bad of me, but the first thing that popped in my mind when Shorty was choking was, "I'm so glad I didn't buy more dog food this week."

 The pool makes you frisky.

 Is this real food (referring to soy burgers)?
 No, it's a hologram.

 Oh my gosh! I can't believe you just said that! I wish I could put that on the blog!
 Go ahead...I don't care.
 (sorry folks...I just can't do it)

 I found a website that teaches you how to like scotch.

 You broke it again, like you did on our honeymoon. (not what you think)

 What kind of husband wants his wife to sleep in the other room?

 I just live listening to funeral music as I eat dinner.

If you think reading is boring, you're doing it wrong.

Our book club planning session was tonight. We met at Jasons Deli and mapped out the next years reads and monthly hosting sites. So excited to dive into the books we chose and catch up with my friends each month. What did I ever do before I fell in love with reading? What a waste of the first thirty years of my life.

Watch our mouth young lady!

It has been so hot this week. Over 100 degrees, most days. Can't wait for the storm to come tomorrow and bring the temps back in the 80's. Even the pool is not refreshing. Like bath water...blah. Uncle Jim, Beth and the boys came for the day. We talked, went to Jimmy's for lunch and came back and swam for a few hours, before they headed back home. Katy and Mike brought King and Vin, who will be two at the end of the summer. Kingston was jumping in over and over again...he is quite the daredevil. Gavin was a bit more cautious than his brother,preferring to run around outside the pool instead. All the big kids were at their dads this weekend...missed them. Maya's 5th birthday is next week and I can't believe how big she is getting. Chris picked up a Hello Kitty doll, dressed in an ODU tshirt, at the book store this week. I know she will love it, since she is a big Hello Kitty fan. I think her 4th birthday had a Hello Kitty theme. The only problem was, up until a couple months ago, she had problems with her K's. She would call Kaden..Taden. She would say I tan't, instead of I can't. So just imagine, when she would excitedly show you her Hello Kitty purse, or shirt or toy...what she would call it? Sooooo funny. Of course the big kids (and Chris) got a kick out of making her repeat herself over and over.

Hush-a-bye, don't you cry, Go to sleep my little baby. When you wake you shall have, all the pretty little horses.

By Teresa Went in the attic today, searching for a box of baby clothes. It took quite a while to find and I almost gave up. Since no baby clothes have been worn around this house for a long time, there were at least ten years of boxes placed around it. It was buried behind old shoes, trophies and boxes filled with anything our three kids deemed savable. I did find the clothes and what a trip down memory lane, holding each tiny hat, nightgown and pair of booties. Remembering each child who wore them, where they played in it and how precious they were. Not that they are not beloved now, it's just a little hard to find a teenager "precious" sometimes. We will wash and make ready all the tiny keepsakes, to prepare for the newest "precious" joining our family at the end of the summer. Little Sophie, my first grandchild. Oh little one, how your Nanny is looking forward to rocking you and singing you to sleep, just like I did for your mommy, so long ago.

Y? Y not?

By Teresa Heading to the YMCA this morning. My fourth time this week...go me. It's been almost two months since I began my journey of better health and moving my arse. I am down 31 pounds, since May 10th. The day I stopped my self loathing, depression and suicide by fast food. No one knew the things going on inside my head...thank goodness. After much prayer and planning, I pulled myself up by my boot straps and took off. Running from the ugliness and pain, to a better me. I have a long way to go, according to the ridiculous charts that say you are obese at 140 pounds, but I am better than I was. I am proud of myself...and that feels great.

Superheroes don't wear capes...they drive Hondas

By Teresa We had a fairly peaceful fourth of July, today. No company or cookouts. Just me, Chris and Ben, eating some baked chicken I cooked, swimming and watching movies. Lauren and Nick both had to work. Tonight, after he got home from work, I heated Nick up a plate of food. Shorty, our resident table beggar, was at Nick's feet, waiting for crumbs and drips. Also, when we have chicken, he is extra attentive. The dog is chicken crazy. He will bark and whine when I cook it. Nick finished, tossed the remains in the trash and went to relax on the couch. About one minute later, we heard a bang. I knew immediately what the sound was...the trash can hitting the floor. Sorty...lured by the aroma of chicken, rummaging through the debris, grabbing a hunk and running away with it. We chased him through the house, to no avail. He had swallowed it in a hurry, to keep us from taking it back. And yes, it was stuck...and stuck good. The gagging was horrible, as he went from room to room, trying to get away from us. We opened the back door and out he went. It was 10:30, Ben was spending the night at moms and Chris had already gone to bed. Nick and I were freaking out (we are not the best under pressure) and could not get the chicken out. Even after being bit several times, Nick still tried his best to help his long time buddy get his breathe. It was no use. Shorty staggered, fell in Nick's arms and died. It was so sad. Nick cried and called out for me to help...but there was nothing I cold do. I ran in, and yelled up to Chris to wake up and help us. He came down pretty quickly, despite the fact that he had been asleep two minutes earlier. He went outside and found Shorty lying in the yard. Gone. He went to work, resuscitating him, he stuck his hand down his throat and pulled out the chicken. He did chest compressions, got the hose and sprayed in Shorty's mouth and over his head. He worked on him for awhile...and he came back to life. It was amazing. Nick was so happy to have his friend back. Chris said, "poor short...if I had been out of town, he would be dead and gone". He is right too, Nick and I had written him off. Thank you dad! He also said, "if I am ever choking...please don't stop trying!".