Do not put boogers on Kristian's door!
The squirrel threw a pinecone at me!
Why were there so many more people in attendance tonight?
Because I was there tonight, that's why.
Of course I have bad gas on the day I was planning to get my hair cut.
Do you realize we are going to be alone all weekend?
Cool. I get Ben's room!
Dang it! The dog tore through the trash can when we were out to dinner! It's all over the kitchen.
Should have let him choke. Next time no extraordinary measures will be taken.
A bird pooped on me today.
Boobs are awesome.