by teresa

Last night Chris and I went to a viewing for nine minutes.
That's not long...but it's all I could take.
My granddaddy's sister passed this week and I wanted to honor them (as they did us last month) by going and telling them how sorry I am that their parent died.
I walked in the funeral home and felt a huge elephant climb on my shoulders. All the tears...long faces...grief. It was heavy...and sucked the breath out of me. Daughters with the same sad eyes as me, grandchildren with the same look of loss as my kids, a husband with the same sorrow as my mom.
I said a few hello's as I made my way to "the room". She lay there as lovely as always...and at peace...free from disease and pain again. Her husband greeted me from a chair by her side. I remarked at how beautiful she was...then I noticed she had a blue purse by her side. I asked him about it and he said tearfully...,"It was her favorite...she would never go anywhere without it."
*sigh*
I teared up, turned around and walked out the front door.
I miss my dad so much....and that was just too much...too soon.

It made me tired. More tired than I have been lately (and that's very, very tired). I came home and went to bed...at 8:00pm. I dreamed that I was home alone..and an intruder broke in. It (I never saw what it was) tackled me in my hallway (actually it was mom's hallway) and wouldn't let me up. That's it. No hitting...screaming...robbing. Just pushed me face down and wouldn't let me up. The only thing I kept yelling out for was...GRANDDADDY!
Weird.

Did I tell you that mom got my Daddy's truck all fixed up? Scratches, dings and rust off. Paint touched up. She also got a personalized plate(I won't give the exact lettering) that says "MISS*YOU*JIMMY". It sits ther in the driveway...kinda like a shrine :)
He would love it!