best lines of the week

by teresa

Sometimes I stop at a stop sign and wait for the light to turn green.

The lady at the McDonalds drive-in called me "sugar-puddin".

I don't know how it happened, but I woke up in the middle of the night with a honeybun wrapper stuck to my face. I pulled it off and tried to go back to sleep, but I was too sticky. I had to get up and wash my face. The next morning the dog jumped in the bed and wouldn't stop licking my pillow.

I didn't cheat!! If I cheated then I wouldn't have won...because cheaters never win stupid!

I ate lunch in the Michaels parking lot just to have some alone time.

Is that poop in the water?

It's my fourth cupcake today and I feel great!