Thursday, September 11, 2008

365 days later

by teresa

September 11th.
I posted this comment a year ago today.
"I can't believe six years has passed. Can you?You never know when your time here on Earth is going to be over. Make God first in your life. Talk with him each morning. Be kind to all people (even your kids...when they are being brats). Forgive. Be a light to all(this little light of mine...I'm going to let it shine). Remember praise...don't pout. Give more than you get. Be thankful. Make a difference. This is the day that the Lord has made....let us REJOICE and be glad in it!"

Two hours later....my father passed away at work.
*sigh*

I can NOT believe it has been a year. 365 days.
365 days of crying, coping, praying, longing, remembering.

The first months it was hard to take a breath without thinking of him.
The last few months I went a day or so without it passing through my mind.
Too busy with my life as a sahm with three kids and a husband.
I guess that's called healing or healthy or moving on.
I think it's more of being numb.

The kids have been the same way.
Life is good, they are happy and "normal" and then the memory traipses across there mind.
Bursting into tears, "I miss grandaddy!"
It comes out of nowhere.

I am reading a book called One Tuesday Morning. It's a novel about Sept. 11th 2001. The tragic morning and after effects on many different people.
It's a great read, but I will never focus on that date as being anything more than the day my daddy, who had put aside his hard living life just a few years ago and given his heart fully to the Lord, was taken home to be with his savior so suddenly.

A heartbreak for us.
A glorious embrace for him.

I miss you dad.
Until we meet again....


6 comments:

Anonymous said...

You described how it is so well, Teresa - crying, longing, coping, being numb. And then when you allow yourself to think a little too much, you feel a stab of pain just as fresh as ever. One year ago I kissed him goodbye and didn't know it would be the last time. I would'nt wanted to know that either. We really do need to live every moment as though it were our last.

The only thing good about September is that you were born (and I'm sure you'd add that it's when school starts back). Other than that, I wish we could just skip this month (and January, too).

Lisa said...

My prayers are with you and your family today.

Lisa
momxtwo@gmail.com

Anonymous said...

My heart is with you all. No matter how many years go by Teresa, there will be a big part of your heart that will remain Daddy's Little girl. You want to skip Sept. 11th...me its July 28th. On that day I will always be the 5 year old looking for her Daddy out the window, waiting for him to come home...He never did and a part of my heart still waits and hopes. God Bless. Tears are good. Love, Brenda

Anonymous said...

I thought I commented yesterday, but evidently I forgot to check anonymous, so I guess it is in cyberspace!

As I was coming to work yesterday the radio station had a moment of silence for the 9-11 victims and at about the same time the church came into view. I, too lost my dad 10 years ago - on May 5th - Cinco de Mayo! The picture of you and your dad is precious and as Pastor Trueblood always says you can't bury memories & love.

Kitty

Anonymous said...

Kitty, I'm sorry you lost your Dad, too. That leaves a huge place in your heart that can never be filled. Thanks for sending the card yesterday. Knowing there are others who care about our loss helps so much. And Pastor Trueblood is right. You don't bury memories or love. Thank God for that gift.

Watkins said...

Thinking of you! Our parents died within days of each other. Mom died on Sept 14th. You were a great comfort to me - bringing food and just hugging me when I came to GNC. There are no words to express the grief we felt. Thanks for your friendship. Mel