He took mom's uterus.
Thank God for taste buds.
You might want to do something about the poop that's squishing out the back of your pants.
What is that smell? Ewwww the dog is farting pepperoni.
He was good all weekend, I think I will buy him shoes.
How do you expect me to live with no soda in the house?
Cats are stupid.
I want it so cool in here that icicles are hanging from the windows.
I can't believe he plopped his bloody foot up on my new couch.
How do you know it was me that came downstairs last night?
You left an empty cereal bowl on your dresser.
Who overflowed the toilet and then left it for me to clean up?
That kid is a different level of crazy.
I'm about to go off in here.
Take a pill!
I already took three!
Do you like my new nightgown?
It's too long.
Let's just sneak out honey....they will never know we are gone.