Quite a Night at the Greens

By Chris

What a night. I'm not sure where to start, but this night was quite a trip. So, Lauren brought home a boy, whose a friend, with whom she has been hanging out with for quite a while. Met him at school. We've been hearing about him . . . but, officially, he's a friend. Whatever. He was totally acceptable. Quite polite and a little shy. I'm sure the Green house experience freaked him out a little, though. First, I had to warn him to hold tight out in the cold until I could get the howling dogs secluded. Then, the boys got home. Ha! After polite greetings, mom, dad, Nick, and Ben went upstairs to let them watch a movie in the den. It wasn't long before shrieking and screaming started. What did you do? ...... Mom! Dad!!! Ahhh, bahhh,, ahhhh...Nick cut off my hamster's toe!!!!! He's GUSHING blood!!!!!!! Boom, boom, bumble, run, yell mom-dad-two-boys-full-blown-four-way-freak-out-fight. And, our house is not that big. From the sound of it Lauren's friend probably thought: 1. Someone was mutilating animals. and, 2. I killed both boys, because I yelled pretty loud, forgetting about the company. The first yelling was at Nick . . . "What did you do !?!?!?, give me that Hamster you're holding now!!!." Then, realizing the stupid thing only had some miniscule scrape on his little freaky human-like hand, I turned my ire at Ben . . . "Nobody cut anybody's toe off!! This IS NOT gushing blood. It's a DROP!!! Don't freak me out like that unless something really bad ACTUALLY happens!!!!" Or something like that. Ben then responds "WAHHHH, AHHH" Then, more for Nick, who screamed back at me in reaction to my initial screaming . . . "And, I don't care if you didn't actually do anything. You don't scream at me or say freakin' to me. I'm the dad and I can scream. You can't." And, Lauren's boy \ friend left pretty soon after all that. He didn't call us down to say bye.

Not my proudest parenting moment. I mean, did I actually scream at someone for screaming? Duh! Nick and I laughed about it all later when I made Ben go to sleep and let him sneak down and watch a late basketball game with me.