Saturday, March 14, 2009

news at 11:00

by teresa

Went grocery shopping today.
In the rain.
I hate grocery shopping in the rain.
But when your outta diet coke...ya' gotta do what ya' gotta do.

While strolling the aisles of my neighborhood Food Lion I had an accident.
A boob accident.
I had been twisting and tugging at my bra all day (the dryer had wrung it to pretzel form) and it was starting to pinch the "ladies".
When all of a sudden I felt a stab. It hurt.
The under wire had snapped at the end and pierced me in the rib.
It drew blood. Apparently my brasserie has some serious hardware.
I could not take the pain. Every time I moved it scratched and poked me again. I had a cart full of groceries, so retreat to the car was NOT an option.
So I reached down my shirt and attempted to remove the giant metal U gouging me.
It took a minute to punch it through the end, all the while looking like I was giving myself a breast exam right there in frozen foods.
Yes, there were a couple of people who breezed past me, but no eye contact was made, so I think my chest challenge went unnoticed.
At least that's what I hope.
What if they caught me on the hidden camera and it ends up on the local news tonight.
That sounds just like something that would happen to me.

"CHESAPEAKE PTA MOM ARRESTED FOR LEWD CONDUCT IN GROCERY STORE"

4 comments:

Sterling Dawn said...

bras are dangerous. i think mine is trying to dissolve my skin.

Katy said...

Yeah, I'd say bras are dangerous because My bra apparently ate my boob, they went from full to shrivled and wrinkley. And I'm sure it's not because of the 4 children that I had, or because I'm getting older. It was definitely my bra.

Mom said...

Keep an eye out on YouBoob (I mean YouTube). You might just see a video of you in the grocery store wrestling with your bra.

Anonymous said...

I really dont think we needed that mental picture of you Katy!
Scott