Lauren Essay

By Chris

Teresa mentioned that a teacher assigned an essay on Lauren for Teresa and , uh, me, I guess. Thought it would be perfect blog fodder. Honey, you can lift it . . . or compare it to yours.

Lauren Green is a completely unique character on God's earth. She can be, at once, goofy, a knucklehead, smart, witty (with a bite), caring, mean, lazy and energetic. Her friends confirm that she will add life to any party, and longs to create a party out of any gathering. If year book signings are any indication of character, I can confirm she is crazy, in a good way. Nearly every person who has signed her books over the years says so. As an example, on the last day of school one year, she packed up a strobe light and music. She and a few friends went early to school, which she does every day for social reasons, and visited teachers' rooms. They entered with no explanation, turned off the lights, turned on the strobe, played music, danced and moved on to the next lucky educator. Some danced with them. Others looked at them like they were crazy. I thought it was hilarious, and a perfect example of the essence of her.

We're particularly proud of the diversity of her friends, which we are certain will make her a success in life, no matter where she ventures. She unites people. A fact that is confirmed by her teachers and coaches. She has a natural disregard for appearances, and a gift for liking people based on character. Her friends are all colors, all economic backgrounds and varying levels of traditional popularity. Her 16th birthday party packed our house with this neat mixture of kids from all walks of life with Lauren orchestrating it so everyone had a blast. She also gets really irritated when she encounters people who don't have her respect for diversity. She'll dismiss a friend who puts clique above character, and she'll run to an outcast in her own understated ways.

When it comes to her brothers, she can have a mean streak. I guess that's true in all sibling relationships. When Nick was smaller, we were sure she would injure him one day. But, she has shown that she will circle the wagons if someone else is mean to them. Especially for Nick, whom she personally gets along with least. She heard about a teenager who was mean to Nick at camp, and she was ready to hunt him down and set him straight. Once, at a football game, they were throwing out promotional footballs when an overzealous teenage boy pushed Ben down to get the prize ball. Lauren leapt into action and let the kid have it. Ben got the ball. Now that she is a cheerleader throwing out the little giveaway balls, she always makes sure her brothers get them.

Finally, she is lazy. Her church group once had to pick an animal that they identified with. Most others had the typical things. Lions, dogs . . . whatever. Sitting in the sanctuary, we learned via a slideshow made by the youth pastor that she identified with the Sloth. How embarrassing. Then she explained, and it made sense. She was actually very thoughtful about her choice. She had read up on the sloth. Apparently, it is very smart and deliberate about how it extends its energy. No need wasting time running around, when you can rest and be effective in the little energy you do exert, is the sloth's mantra, she explained. That's her. She'll get it done . . . with as much, or little effort, as necessary. And not early or late. Just in time. With no worries.

That's Lauren. We're pretty sure she's gonna be alright, too.