by teresa
I had a good time at Katy's today. The kids were so good. Kai played with some kind of building sticks and Kaden crawled up in my arms and fell asleep for an hour. There is just nothing better in life than a baby asleep in your arms. I don't think I took my eyes off of her for the entire hour. Watching her cute little dream smiles and her nose wrinkle up when I kissed it. It reminded me of when Lauren was a baby. I would get up with her in the night so she could eat. I didn't have a chair in the room...so I would plop on the floor against the wall to feed her. I would sing to her as she ate (the mommy song) and she would fall asleep in my arms. I would sit like that on the floor for hours. Staring at her...tracing her face with my finger....over and over. Her full lips, each eye, her little turned up nose (my nanny's nose), down under her plump chin and neck. Memorizing each feature, her breathing rythmn, the sweet humming she made as she slept, her smell (I love that baby smell). At least I thought I was memorizing her. That little baby is so far away now. Sometimes I have to look at her old photo albums to bring that face...that precious little face to the front of my mind. It is harder for me to recall those special late night rendezvous. The looks she gave me. The smiles when I walked into her sight. I miss that terribly! In two weeks my "baby"...my little girl...will be a senior in high school. Where did the last 17 years go? Seriously...I want to know...I want them back! It makes me realize how quickly things change. And leaves me to cherish every single moment with the boys. While they are still little kids.
I remember the words from my favorite childrens book...I'll love you forever...by Robert Munsch
"I'll love you forever...
I'll like you for always...
As long as I'm living...
My baby you'll be".
So true...so true!
6 comments:
Jeez Teresa are you trying to make me cry? Well it worked. Just thinking of the words to that book makes me a mess.
Teresa, it made me think back to when you were born and the first time I looked at you through the incubator (I was knocked out during your birth). You were so tiny (4.5 lbs)I couldn't believe anyone could be so little. And I loved holding you and looking at your little hands and face. Your nose was so little it was just like a little bump (and you've still got a cute little nose). I can picture everything just like it was yesterday. I know what you mean about time just flying by.
And when I had Katy, we both were so happy because you were 10 years old by then. She loved you so much and lit up every time you came into the room. You loved her so much too, until she started talking . . . she knew just what to say to "get under your skin." I'm so glad that you and Katy are best friends now.
I love that book, too, but the page where it talks about the mother hanging out outside of her grown son's house and then sneaking in when he's asleep and cradling him is a little creepy!
Melissa...you are right about that book. The way she stalks him as he gets older. climbs in his window and holds him. too funny! But when she gets old and sick...and he comes to her and rocks her....sob!!
Another book that makes me cry everytime I read it is....Let me Hold You longer...by Karen Kingsbury. Everytime...I cry!
Okay you guys ... you made me cry ... I mean really cry. I remember those first months with Chris. I would sit and hold him and stare at him in amazement that I could feel so much love! Funny ... that love that was so astounding grew and grew as he did ... who would have ever believed it could. Then came grand children ... more amazing love. God gives us capacity for love that far exceeds anything we could ever imagine. As I read your blog, Teresa, I remember (and really miss) the baby smell, soft skin, sqeezable little arms and legs.
Okay...this is just crazy! It is 3 1/2 years after you wrote this post and I am sitting here sobbing all over again. I wish there was a button to push on my children that would slow down the growing process. My baby just turned 11 and I don't know why but I am taking it really hard. I just want her to stop getting older and be my little baby forever. Okay...that's enough of the crying...Maya is asking me what is wrong.
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